Yeah I’m trying to.

But like

除咗同屋企人之外，我唔識幾多人講廣東話。

呢度出世啲都唔係幾識講，或者識，但係唔係幾識（我都自己唔係識幾多粵語 volcabulary），所以淨係得講英語。

識講廣東話嘅人一般都係啲老一代嘅人。我冇可能同啲老嘢傾得都計，思想都唔一樣。

以前可以同我哥傾計，但係而家屋企關係已經係似戰場。

而家我用粵拼，其實一開都係我哥 introduce 呢個粵拼系統 to me.

所以我而家打緊字都一味諗起佢同我打攪。

我記得有一次我喺廣州嘅時候，佢打我，我怕道走出街。

我仲記得嗰日，自己一個人，8歲都未夠。好驚阿。

我都唔知點解最近先諗返起。A “suppressed memory” maybe.

So… you know… it hard. I try to think about Hong Kong more, I think about resistance against the “當今皇帝” (if you know what I mean), resistance against the “朝廷”, I know, Cantonese symbolize that defiance…

but its hard, its hard to when 99% of conversations are with your abusers…