Comment on When you experience trauma for the first time, you are alone, but when you re-experience that event (through memory), you find out you aren't actually alone, past-you and present-you share that burden

kittenzrulz123@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago

• DeathByBigSad@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨week⁩ ago

  I still remember that day, I remember feeling so scared. I can almost remember that scene as if it happened mere moments ago.

  Of course, not all the details, more like a blurry gif in monochrome in 480p, rather than a 4K HDR Movie. But the emotions, its very vivid.

  I sort of didn’t try to remember it, I know its there, I just didn’t actively dig it up, but then again and again, time after time, I keep having to fight my brother. Happened so many times I lost count, probably like 10-200 fights, and constant micro-confrontations, also manipulative as hell, pretend to wanna be nice and play games with me, then I let my guard down, then later confontations happen again.

  That memory just slowly leaked bit by bit until it just came back. I know it existed, I was just too weak to confront my own memories, so I try to avoid it as long as I could. Because it’s very overwhelming.

  But its inevitable that I have to face the past.

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