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I feel the need to do a Texas one as a Texan

Tex: you must be lost

Person: yes I was traveling…. Looking for… do you know

Long silence

Tex: yep… see I knew you were probably lost. When I saw your car I told my buddy bubba over bubba tips his hat “hey bubba I think he’s lost. Probably looking for the highway.” Are ya… looking for the highway that is.

Person: yes

Tex: ya. That’s what I figured. (Long silence but right before you say something else) you’re probably gonna want to take that road there. It’ll get you to Edna.

Person: is the highway in Edna?

Tex: no, but… you should probably go thru Edna. Less trouble that way. Then you’ll see where the old windmill used to be. Make a left”

Person: left… to the highway?

Tex: no… but that’ll get you to fire station

Person: do I need the fire station

Bubba laughs

Tex: bubba! No but your going to need their help with the tree from August

Person: uhh okay… thank you… I guess I’ll head to that fire station.

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TexasDrunk@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
That’s painfully accurate in some places down here. And if you’re ever through that way again there’s some decent fishing in Lake Texana. Got a whole mess of catfish out there a couple of weeks back.

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- Aeao@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
  Exactly! It’s helpful it’s just… “you in some kind of hurry?”
  
  As for your fishing spot. I’ll answer in Texan
  
  “Sounds great but I know how people enjoy a good spot once they found it. We’ll head out sometime together. You bring the beer.”
  
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  - MajorasTerribleFate@lemmy.zip ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
    So, sort of like “good, fast, cheap: pick (at most) two”, except “kind, polite, fast: pick (at most) two”.
    
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    TheDoozer@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
    Oh, man, kind and fast. Hands down. Every time.
    
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    Aeao@lemmy.world ⁨22⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
    I’m saying “I don’t want to get shot… but I’m not afraid of getting shot. Texas is Texas but a stranger is a stranger. Let’s hit this fishing spot together first
    
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sharkfucker420@lemmy.ml ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago
Used to a know a guy named Mop who had a dog named Filanges on account of his long toes. He called me bud and gave me brisket every chance he could

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- Aeao@lemmy.world ⁨22⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
  Totally a team story.
  
  Guy named mop
  
  Was that his real name a nickname? Who cares. I know the dogs name tho! The brisket was good and if he called on me I guess I’d stand up.
  
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  - sharkfucker420@lemmy.ml ⁨22⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
    Not his real name but its the only thing anyone called him
    
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    Aeao@lemmy.world ⁨21⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
    I once knew a guy named Irish.
    
    He absolutely wasn’t named Irish and no one else called him Irish…
    
    I’m just easy going and lazy. He said his name Was Irish to me. I memorized Irish. I’m calling him Irish because he told me his name was Irish. Fuck it.
    
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