Comment on This man is suffering
ch00f@lemmy.world 18 hours agoThe power dynamic between the porn actress and customer is different than between restaurant server and patron. The porn is filmed in a controlled environment, and even the live streams can be quit at any time. At a restaurant, the women are operating in a live environment, and their income is dependent on the patrons’ whims. The rules are fuzzy and you don’t know if your patron is going to understand the difference between friendly flirting and sexual attraction.
I got dragged to a strip club for a friend’s birthday. They were especially gross at the time in WA because you couldn’t drink at them. We were already drunk enough though.
Anyway, got a lap dance for $20. The first 30 seconds were the stripper explaining to me what I’m allowed to do. I.e. apparently you can rub your face on her boobs, but hands stay put. I’m sure if I broke that rule, a bouncer would beat the shit out of me. To maintain the “family friendly atmosphere,” restaurants like Hooters operate more on nuance that some patrons (like the person this post is about) may not understand.
Tartas1995@discuss.tchncs.de 17 hours ago
Yes there is a difference.
A customer of porn could share that porn long after that actress quit the industry and has publicly expressed regret.
A customer of hooters can’t force the server to continue to be sexualized at hooters.
But let’s focus on your example,
A customer could break rules at hooters, therefore consume porn and don’t go to hooters?
ch00f@lemmy.world 10 hours ago
Ask a victim of sexual assault how they feel about that statement.
And the point is if your goal of going to hooters is to bend the rules as far as you can, just get your fix some other way.
Tartas1995@discuss.tchncs.de 2 hours ago
I don’t see how you conclude that e.g. the man in the post plans to bend the rules at all.
The rest of your comment is disappointing. You know that I didn’t mean that a customer can’t sexually assault a server or former server. I meant that if the server quits, they are not longer being sexualized as part of their job and unless people are fucking creeps, their former employment should continue to sexualize them.
Also well it is a regrettable career. That doesn’t mean you have to regret it. But it is certainly regrettable like any other career. And women like Mia Khalifa have expressed regret in the past and yet while she was expressing regret, porn videos of her were widely available and consumed. That is what I was talking about. Not that the career is always ending in regret.
ch00f@lemmy.world 2 hours ago
Ok. So we’ve confirmed that it’s a career. I think taking on the concept of whether or not porn should be stored in a permanent medium is outside the scope of this conversation. It’s currently a valid career for men and women, and (assuming it’s all produced above board), there are plenty of systems in place to protect the people involved.
Hooters operates in a grey area. They obviously drive customers to their locations with sex appeal (though I actually like their wings personally), but there’s a fuzzy line around what is and is not okay in that scenario. Their own employee agreement has this to say:
Even the company won’t delineate what “joking” means. If a patron makes a “joke” that makes a server super uncomfortable what are her options? Confront the customer and lose her tip? Quit her job? That’s a lot of financial strain just to feel comfortable at your job. I don’t think Hooters as an establishment should be shut down, but I think bragging about ogling the women should be a little frowned upon.
The language in the post indicates that he’s clearly ashamed of what he’s doing. He’s misleading his wife and speaks in euphemism. So whatever he actually does there, he at least thinks other people will think it’s creepy.
I think leaving a review like this just demonstrates a lack of problem solving skills or some sexual repression which is kind of sad. There are other, better ways to get your rocks off than Hooters if that’s really all you’re there for.