I think I figured out I was never going to make it back in 2015 - 2017. When I was in my mid twenties. I rented shitty shared flats with tenants I didn’t like (one even stole property from me) and I also lived in a crack den, a place they sent people to, after they served their prison sentence. Meth and whores from time to time. Lots of passive-aggressive crap in the TV room that tenants obviously learned from prison. I heard that in prison people fight over what to watch on TV, so people were anal about rules in that crack den. They lived like they were still locked up.