Comment on How to separate self-worth from Achievements and External Validation?
foggy@lemmy.world 2 days ago
I mean the need becomes immediately necessary if you’ve ever accomplished anything.
Holy shit I sound like an asshole.
Okay, what I mean is, everyone you look up to is just as empty as you. Well, maybe. Sort of.
The only people who feel sated by an achievement end up has-beens. That never were. And in this esoteric sense, even those that “are”, arent.
All that mumbo jumbo, I mean, no one is their achievements. And if they are, they’re hollow.
Okay, so I’m coming off anesthesia and sounding like a guy at burning man. But I’m serious. The bottom line is this
Your self worth is defined by the process. Not the outcome. And if the process is at a halt due to an outcome, just trust the process. Try again.
The trying again will give you self worth. Not the outcome.
Though the process is also something that is subject to external validation?
Say I’m learning to drive, but I keep failing the test. The goal/achievement is the end result; driver’s license. However my process of getting to that goal is sub-par compared to others, or “the average”. I’m stuck in the process itself, having many more lessons than others, but I have no apparent reason to struggle? Isn’t that infuriating?
In the example, you’re comparing yourself to others, by matter of outcome. And getting upset in the process.
Instead let’s say you stick to the process. You investigate why you failed. Parallel parking? Okay, fuck that. I’m gonna parallel park my mom’s van 10x a day when I get home from school and not fuck that up next time.
Now you’ve learned to humbly overcome failure rather than get emotional about comparing your outcome to that of others.
pugnaciousfarter@literature.cafe 1 day ago
I know this.
I was wondering how to effectively separate my self-worth from the “Achievements”.
I want it to be the process, but I can’t seem to make it the process.