I have to admit being and staying sober is much easier for me if I frame it as “it’s a period in my life where I want to be sober, I choose to be sober, that doesn’t mean I have pledged to stay sober until I die”, and allowing myself the idea of a future where I will drink again feels relieving - although I realize it will most likely not happen. So your sentiment with getting back on drugs at 60-70+ resonates with me.