Comment on ‘I realised I’d been ChatGPT-ed into bed’: how ‘Chatfishing’ made finding love on dating apps even weirder

• Scubus@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

  Yeah lol, this guy says it easy, just get 1 to 4 matches a week. In the year before i deleted my tinder, i got one match. As far as im concerned, if this is what it takes to destroy online dating, im so down.

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  • jjjalljs@ttrpg.network ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    1d4-1 is 0 to 3. Sorry, not the point.

    One factor might be location. I’m in a major city.

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  • outhouseperilous@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

    That is a pretty good case.

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• jjjalljs@ttrpg.network ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

  What do you mean exactly? If you think some people are just innately attractive and that’s immutable and unattainable, that’s nonsense.

  Easily changed stuff like a better haircut, better fitting clothes, a better photo, all go a long way.

  I’m a very average guy with a wardrobe of thrift store finds and band tshirts. I’m not even 6’ tall. But I did try to whole-ass engage with every potential match instead of doing bullshit like chatgpt or copy-pasted ice breakers.

  Also a real fast way to be unattractive is having an ugly worldview. Most people aren’t going to like someone who treats them like shit. Someone who has a genuine conversation and shares interests will go farther.

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• Allero@lemmy.today ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

  Everyone is attractive to someone, not necessarily by the looks, but by the spirit, character, and a personal charm.

  The problem is dating apps and how they shaped our dating sphere overall.

  Aside from intentionally picking mediocre partners with algorithms so you could never find a date and stay there forever, generating profits, the very structure of dating apps is super wrong.

  What do you see on most of them? A big photo and a tiny bit of text, which for most people ends up very generic. But looks is only one small part of the picture, and one that doesn’t ultimately decide the fate of relationships for most people. It is exactly that text part that matters, and it cannot be a one-liner.

  To get to know someone, you have to talk, interact, and this very interaction is what breathes life into relationships and makes a date an actual date, and not just an evening stroll.

  I am certain you know something that will be interesting, amusing, funny to someone, that some people out there would love you as a partner. But, for the love of God, do not look for that someone on dating apps. You’re wasting your time and confidence in a loop designed to have you do just that.

  Oh and - it is great that you don’t have several dates a week. This fucks up so bad with the very idea of romance. Relationships are not bargaining chips and not scores to make track of. When you “date” like you choose your new jacket, all the magic and butterflies are gone.

  You’re good, don’t screw yourself up and you’ll be golden. Speaking as someone with mid looks and personality and a lot of social awkwardness, while being in healthy long relationships with adorable partner.

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