Windex007@lemmy.world 1 day ago
I had west Nile virus and it got into my brain and it was a mess.
Anyhow, during that years long Rollercoaster of a recovery, there was a period of apparently a week where I don’t remember at all.
Like, woke up in a hospital I’d never seen before. Wandered out to have strangers greet me as if they knew me… had to literally ask the question “where am I? How long have I been here?”
Anyways, the experience made it difficult to escape considering questions similar to yours. Who was that guy who was apparently walking around doing stuff and talking to people that week in MY body?
Short answer: always me. People have such little understanding of how at the mercy of chemicals and electrical impulses they are. You’re you when it’s all working, you’re still you when it’s not. Trying to tie something as foundational as identity to something as ephemeral as memory isn’t a good idea, unless you want identity to be something that changes second to second.
AnarchistArtificer@slrpnk.net 18 hours ago
Oh man, I relate to this. I have a somewhat similar experience which I have recounted in a long comment elsewhere in this thread that you may be interested in checking out.
My conclusion is much the same as your own. In some ways, I think I had to believe that I was the same person, because otherwise, I’d be living out the rest of my life feeling like an imposter who had stolen another person’s life. I imagine it might’ve been harder to believe that I’m still me if I had experienced personality changes as people who experience head trauma sometimes do.
Windex007@lemmy.world 18 hours ago
Oh wowza, good on you for sharing that! Super interesting and I feel a bunch of what you said right to the bottom of my soul.
I really appreciate the share as well because it’s PRETTY rare to get to talk to someone with an inkling of such a bizarre life event, how it changes you, and how you grapple with (and hopefully conclude in some way on) uncomfortable questions about the nature of life and identity.
I’d always felt comfortable with where I landed on this… but I’m finding myself surprised by the relief that someone else resolved these questions in the same way I have. I didn’t think I needed… I dunno, validation? Validation that my conclusions were reasonable? Maybe I just never thought I’d get the opportunity to exchange with someone who I trusted actually understood. Not sure, either way, I feel validated and I never thought there would be a mechanism for me to feel that about this topic, and it’s a welcome surprise and I appreciate it, so thank you.