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vaultdweller013@sh.itjust.works ⁨1⁩ ⁨day⁩ ago

Different effects from the same diagnosis, I most likely have C-PTSD and when combined with my autism it just makes a paranoid insular asshole, get along great with military veterans funny enough. But the problem is that I basically internally self reinforce to keep myself vaguely sane and any help I could get would be at best ineffective or at worst outright damaging. Core problem is that all of the damage was done in childhood and only started to manifest particularly badly when I became an adult. Namely my hatred for authority which makes getting and keeping a job a right pain.

But I’m glad you improved yourself dude, so long as at least some of us fucked over by life improve I see it as a win.

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Venus_Ziegenfalle@feddit.org ⁨22⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago

But the problem is that I basically internally self reinforce to keep myself vaguely sane and any help I could get would be at best ineffective or at worst outright damaging.

I used to think the same thing and I’m not trying to say this has to apply to everyone but at some point I realized my mental illness whispering to me “there is no help for you” is about as trustworthy as addiction whispering “one more can’t hurt”.

Core problem is that all of the damage was done in childhood and only started to manifest particularly badly when I became an adult. Namely my hatred for authority which makes getting and keeping a job a right pain.

I recognize this part from my own past as well. My hatred for authority also meant I lived life without any inner guidance. Always late, everything messy, horrible eating/sleeping schedule. For me reconnecting with my own authority towards myself (true authority that is soft and understanding but not neglegient) basically made the issues with external authority figures in my adult life melt away. It was never about those.

The rest like I said happened on a spiritual level. In my personal, lived experience the mind can fracture, scar, become inflamed and even rot but the soul always remains whole. It just gets buried below the trauma and needs to be unearthed.

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