You know what really grinds my gears? This shitty dystopia completely eschews any potentially cool aspect of invasive exploitative authoritarianism. The (not so) secret police is patching together their own “uniforms” by browsing the bargain bins at the local tacti-cool mall-ninja outfitters. Where’s the black leather trench coats, stylish sun glasses worn after dark and slicked back hair. If they’re going to ask my for ‘ze papers’ all the time, the least they can do is look cool. At least get Hugo Boss to design your attire; that’s just about the only thing that worked out well for the last bunch of pricks.

I mean, where’s the towering brutalist architecture? Where’s my mandatory daily dose of SOMA? Or my idiotically wirelessly hackable cyberware? Hell, they can’t even do bread and circuses right anymore. The bread is CO2-pumped flour glue and the circuses is an endless stream of more Marvel projects and Disney violations of Star Wars.

And don’t get me started on the quality of our dictators these days. They sure don’t make them like they used to.