I guess all the boomer parents are like that. I have a really good relationship with my parents, but they wouldn’t help me out when my boyfriend and I bought a flat. Went as far as telling me that I’m trying to rob them, because maybe I can’t afford the flat and then the bank will take their houses. I told them the bank just can’t do that and they didn’t believe me until they went to talk to a lawyer. And best part is, now they always say I’m not thankful because I will inherit their houses and they build them for me? And their parents were really poor small scale farmers, still they saved up to help them with their first home. As you can tell I’m still bitter about that.
Comment on This boomer couple would be hit with $700,000 tax bill if they sold their mansion
LordWiggle@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
I pay zero taxes if I were to sell my house. Because I don’t own a house, I can’t afford one. I’m forced to rent.
My boomer parents constantly complain their pension is shit. They have to watch their spendings, they tell me. They live in a big house, surrounded by water and nature (in the Netherlands, so expensive AF), with a sailing boat AND an expensive motorboat in front of their house, an SUV and caravan, they completely remodeled their garden including expensive fences, they go on holiday about 5 times a year, they got solar panels and heat pump installed, got a new kitchen, bathroom and toilet, expensive automated sun screens for all their windows (all around the house). But they are treated like shit with their poor pension. My dad bought his first house when he finished his studies, my mom never had to work anymore as my dad made more than enough to support a household of 5, we always lived in middle class neighborhoods, we went to private schools. But they complain they have to buy fuel to come visit me, so they rather have me visit them instead. I live in social housing and struggle every month paying my bills. They never gave me a penny as soon as I left the house as I’m a major disappointment, even though I’m financially and mentally struggling (autism, ADHD, PTSD). They even changed their will because I’m such a disappointment so I will get the bare minimum and my perfect younger brother gets almost everything even though he makes loads of money every month.
I don’t give a fuck. I don’t want anything from them when they die. I’m not complaining about not getting anything. I’m just complaining their love for me is measured in success and that they are privileged fucks who constantly complain about their sad rich lives while many others are actually struggling and they don’t give a fuck about them. They are an example of what’s wrong with society. I broke off all contact with them. Fucking boomers. They even turned full right wing racists even though their parents and grandparents fought in the resistance during the second world war and got deported and tortured to death by the nazis in concentration camps.
krawutzikaputzi@slrpnk.net 3 weeks ago
LordWiggle@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
I know some proper boomer parents but they are rare AF.
My parents paid everything for my perfect brother when he went studying. He had a luxurious life as a student.
I failed in school, because I was special (autistic later turned out) but should have acted like nothing was wrong. So I didn’t get a penny when I couldn’t eat for a week because I was completely broke. Instead they told me. To get my shit together, act like an adult for once and take responsibility for my actions.
So far they never acknowledged they ever made a single mistake, they project all their mistakes and failures into me or others, they complain constantly like spoiled entitled teenagers and they do nothing but judge people who are less fortunate.
I’m 38 now, they still tell me I’m behaving like a child even though I always say sorry for the mistakes I make, I always take responsibility and acknowledge when I’m wrong. I fought in wars (in the military), I have fought mental health my entire life, I struggled within the system my whole life, I have loads of friends who I’d die for and who’d die for me, while my parents have no one and are just a bunch of entitled sour lonely fucking boomers. Who’s the responsible adult here? Although I doubted myself many many times, my therapists and friends have ensured me it’s them, not me. And I started to see that too, so I ended my relationship with my parents for good. And with my entitled little brother who always takes my mom’s side no matter what.
krawutzikaputzi@slrpnk.net 3 weeks ago
At least you got out of that horrible family dynamic! Don’t know if I can judge from one comment, but sounds like your wellbeing didn’t benefit from the relationship and am happy for you that you’re doing better for yourself. And of course there are some nice boomers but even if I have the nicest, most loving parents they just seem they don’t care about the future of their kids and next generation while the generations before tried to make their kids’ lives better.
sploder@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
My mom is the same with the completely outrageous spending on frivolous things but as soon as it comes to visiting me, a 2 hr plane ride, suddenly she guilts me for spending the money. “ I have to stay with you for 15 days because I paid for this $200 ticket and it’s just not worth it if I stay just a couple days like you say I should “ — I’m autistic and NEED my routine and space back after 5 days maximum. She loves to push boundaries to get what she wants : a free stay at my home in a vacation state. I’m constantly telling her no you cannot stay with me for 2 fucking weeks because you feel entitled and live for pushing boundaries.
I’m very fortunate to have found a house while prices were affordable for me. If I had to attempt it now, I’d be up shit creek. Meanwhile she is building a custom 7,000 square foot home, because of course her 4,000 one is just not cutting it anymore … the garage isn’t pretty enough for her $80,000 suv she randomly wanted AND my step dads $100,000 truck he needed afterwards to match her new car … fucking ridiculous.
Dyskolos@lemmy.zip 3 weeks ago
Like I said in my reply to this commenter:
Basic rule in life: cut toxic people out. If someone, let alone a fucking PARENT, treats you like that, and especially if they don’t respect or at least acknowledge your neurodivergrnce: just fuck them. Maybe in your case, play along the absolute bare minimum until you can inherit their shit and then smile. At least you were not the idiot anymore.
Friends, or even random people who have nothing to do with you, shouldn’t treat you like that. We often just endure all shit because… Well, because it’s just like that and we never really knew it could and SHOULD be different. Or other silly reasons.
LordWiggle@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Sadly it took me way to long to let go of the constant argument people with a good relationship with their parents tell me: “but they’re your parents dude!”
Exactly, they are, I didn’t chose them, unlike my friends who actually treat me with respect and dignity. Fuck toxic family, fuck toxic people, surround yourself with people who love you for who you are and who you love for who they are. Treating each other with mutual respect. Fuck manipulative narcissistic behavior. Even when they are your parents.
Dyskolos@lemmy.zip 3 weeks ago
Yes absolutely this. I’m glad that this sentiment is seen more and more in the younger generations. They won’t bend for jobs or abuse that easily like mine (genx) or earlier did and still do.
“But they’re your parents!”. Aaand? “dad” or “mom” are titles earned by love not labels given by birth. Toxic is toxic. Fuck it.
LordWiggle@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
My parents live 2h drive away and are already guilt tripping me for that drive. While they would come to me 10% of the time, I had to go there 90% of the time. I’m autistic too, my mom drains me within an hour. No joke.
themaninblack@lemmy.world 3 weeks ago
Goddamn, with their parents’ history, I cannot possibly think of this as anything but mental decline. The basis of their political affiliation is a reflection of the state of their brain, to be sure.
Dyskolos@lemmy.zip 3 weeks ago
Lol. Yeah sounds like the typical boomer. Never learned what a worry is yet constantly complaining.
Like I always say “I complained to have no shoes until I saw a man with no feet”.
Anyhow. I’m sorry my dutch neighbor. Parents like that are a PITA. Mine were like that too. What a failure i am. Then I became successfully and they both, having no spine at all, couldn’t resist the offer to be employed by me. And after they learned how cool it could’ve been, and what a dream of an employer I was (work whenever wherever you want, but please get the shit somehow done, from cleaning stuff to CEO), I fired them and replaced them with, in their eyes, “horrible failures that only weakens the country!”. Their last month working was showing the news guys the ropes.
It felt great, but, to make a point relative to your story, they didn’t learn shit from it. Even being on welfare didn’t change them. You probably either are an arse or you’re not. So fret not, just cut them out of your life. Basic rule of life: remove toxic people from your social circle. No matter if family (blood) or not.
And get whatever money you can from them. No matter what fucknuggets they are. Money isn’t dirty and has no inherent value. Take what’s yours when you can. Here it’s at least 25% if they disowned you, guess it’s not much different in NL.