Comment on ‘If I switch it off, my girlfriend might think I’m cheating’: inside the rise of couples location sharing

chronicledmonocle@lemmy.world ⁨8⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

• expr@programming.dev ⁨8⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  This is like, the opposite of old-fashioned. Calling your wife when you’re on the way home is old-fashioned.

  This article is the first time I’m actually hearing about this idea because it never even occurred to me as something people would actually want to do. I frankly don’t see the point of this nonsense. I would much rather talk to my wife on the phone and communicate with her about plans. It’s much more human and normal, and facilitates good communication habits. It takes 2 minutes to give my wife a call and, you know what, I get to talk to my wife! We don’t need technology invading absolutely every aspect of our lives. We don’t need to be constantly plugged in and attached to our phones at the hip.

  It also has other downsides, like making it hard to surprise your partner, constant battery drain from the constant location chatter, etc. In fact, it seems like all downside with no actual benefit (setting aside the trust stuff, because it’s pretty irrelevant either way).

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  • Clent@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨8⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    We don’t need technology invading absolutely every aspect of our lives.

    Calling each other is technology. It’s simply a technology you’ve normalized

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  • chronicledmonocle@lemmy.world ⁨8⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    I get where you’re coming from, but I loathe talking on the phone. I love talking to my wife, but we do that when sitting down for coffee and breakfast in the morning.

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• trk@aussie.zone ⁨8⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  My wife and I have had our location shared with each other for years, but it’s not a “Are they cheating?” thing. I have been married for 14 years and never wonder if my wife is cheating on me. It’s just incredibly useful for seeing how far away one of us is from home to do things like plan dinner prep times, know where to look for a lost phone, etc. If you can’t trust your SO, there is something wrong that you need to address and micro-managing where they are is toxic.

  My wife and I are the same. Shared location means rather than a message saying “are you on your way home?” you can just check where they’re at. If I’m out on a late night callout she can see where I am instead of worrying or constantly pinging for updates. Meeting somewhere? Live updates keeps everyone in sync, and let’s you know if you’ve got time to do something on the way or if they’re already waiting or whatever.

  People must be in some super unhappy relationships if they see location sharing as nefarious.

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• WhyJiffie@sh.itjust.works ⁨8⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

  Call me old fashioned, but I put it in the same bucket as a prenup

  I don’t agree. Prenups are passive, they don’t do anything until not needed. all the while this is a major breach of privacy, for both parties, and also of trust.

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  • erin@piefed.blahaj.zone ⁨8⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    My wife and I share our location. We both trust each other implicitly and neither of us consider it a breach of privacy, but rather a willing sharing of information. I think if this is demanded of someone unilaterally, it would be both a breach of privacy and trust, but it's just so damn convenient for our lives and makes us both feel safer. If I'm out late in the city to see a friend, my wife can easily see that I'm safe making it to my car and driving home. If my wife is working late and forgets to text, I can easily check and know she's still in the building. As two gay women, it was a no-brainer for us. I would never demand that of someone. It seems like a lot of people in the comments see sharing location as an intrinsically harmful or negative action, whereas it's far more context and consent dependent for me. Hell, I even share my location with a friend for a few hours if I'm doing something sketchy.

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    • WhyJiffie@sh.itjust.works ⁨8⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      We both trust each other implicitly and neither of us consider it a breach of privacy, but rather a willing sharing of information.

      I was unclear on what I meant by the breach of privacy. there’s another comment chain discussing that but tldr: it’s not about sharing your location with your SO, but entrusting profit driven careless companies with both of your sensitive information.

      Additionally, there’s something I haven’t written in that other thread. It’s not only about the both of you. I as a host (in my house, this does not apply to public places) don’t want to have guests who’s phones are uploading their visit at my place to any such services, because that also affects my privacy. but it’s also a bit weird, because I don’t feel I have the right to ask if they have such an app, let alone asking them to turn it off.

      so, my point is not about not trusting your SO, but about not trusting random companies, because they are repeatedly showing both neglect and a big tendency to sell user data and lie to their benefit.

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      • erin@piefed.blahaj.zone ⁨8⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

        This has nothing to do with the tracking. You should have the same problem with anyone that has location turned on in their phone. Turning on GPS tracking for me and my wife has not given Google new data on our locations, as we use Google maps to navigate as is. I reject the premise that I'm violating someone else's privacy by doing so. I've also opted out of any app using my location without my express permission. You certainly wouldn't have the right to ask someone to turn something like that off simply because you don't trust the corporations on the other end, because you have no idea what service, what precautions they've taken, and if they're actively sharing. If you were going to do so, then you should also inspect people's phones for having location turned on, and check all their apps permissions for location.

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  • LilB0kChoy@midwest.social ⁨8⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    the while this is a major breach of privacy, for both parties, and also of trust.

    How? My situation is similar to the person you’re replying to and I’m curious how two consenting adults sharing their location with each other is “ la major breach of privacy, for both parties, and also of trust”.

    Maybe if one party is unwilling or has no say/control in location sharing but specifically in the scenario at hand I don’t see it.

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    • WhyJiffie@sh.itjust.works ⁨8⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      because you are not sharing your location with each other. you are sharing your location with a greedy company that also lets your significant other, and then the highest bidder access this information. they are doing whatever they please with it to make (even more) money.
      see, I was so into google’s timeline feature years ago. but soon after I realized privacy is a thing I was disgusted of it and turned it off. if you run nextcloud and that addon I don’t remember, or reitti, at home and use that, and you keep is somewhat safe*, then it’s fine, and I could imagine using that, even just for myself.

      I should have explained that. for some reason I tend to assume that lemmy users are privacy conscious, but that’s probably not true.

      * don’t expose the services because your data will get stolen and you’ll get hacked by automated systems. run a VPN on the server, only expose the port of that. then you can access the services through a VPN. wireguard is relatively simple, and it’s secure.

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      • LilB0kChoy@midwest.social ⁨8⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

        I get that it’s not privacy focused; so much these days isn’t, but I’m still not understanding how two adults knowingly enabling location sharing via a 3rd party service is “a major breach of privacy, for both parties, and also of trust”.

        I’m gathering that your intent was more along the lines of “it’s not very privacy conscious since you have no control over how the 3rd party uses that data or any way to control it”, would that be accurate?

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  • lucidinferno@lemmy.world ⁨8⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

    Legally and practically, prenups are anything but passive. They’re proactive tools. They’re usually dormant, but they’re ready to be called into action.

    Marriage is different things to different people. Some have every intention to make it work, no matter what. To them, a prenup is an anti-“burn the ship”. It’s a statement.

    Also, tools like “find my” are not major breaches of privacy if both parties jointly agree to use them. For me and my family, it’s the ultimate expression of trust. I’m never somewhere I shouldn’t be, and I like my family knowing where I am, for a multitude of reasons.

    There are two types of people who a tracker wouldn’t be effective for: those who are in an inappropriate location, and those who are constantly questioning why someone is in an innocent place, regardless of where it may be. However, at that point, the issue isn’t the trackers; it’s the people.

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    • WhyJiffie@sh.itjust.works ⁨8⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      Legally and practically, prenups are anything but passive. They’re proactive tools. They’re usually dormant, but they’re ready to be called into action.

      that’s what I meant by passive. they don’t do anything until invoked, once.

      It’s like comparing a personal forcefield with an always worn camera and mic that streams your life to google’s personal security subsidiary, if I want to magnify the differences.

      I don’t see why what you said makes it not passive. maybe we understand that term differently.

      Some have every intention to make it work, no matter what.

      that’s how abusers learn they can do whatever they want

      Also, tools like “find my” are not major breaches of privacy if both parties jointly agree to use them. For me and my family, it’s the ultimate expression of trust.

      I don’t necessarily mean breach of privacy that way. if everyone voluntarily agrees, without “problems”, that’s good. but more that the service provider has access to a fuckton of sensitive data! I can imagine people who accept that… and then who also condemn others for wanting to escape shit privacy invading services

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    • Count042@lemmy.ml ⁨8⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

      This comment is just ‘what do you have to worry about it you’re not doing anything wrong’ with extra words.

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      • erin@piefed.blahaj.zone ⁨8⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

        Consensually choosing to share my location with my wife is not the same as not caring about my data being collected or sold. I don't have any intention to break her trust, but that has nothing to do with why we share location. It's all about safety and convenience. I know when she's working late. She knows when I made it back to my car safely after a night out. I know when she's on her way home, even when she forgets to text me, so I can start cooking. As two gay women in a conservative area, it just made sense.

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      • lucidinferno@lemmy.world ⁨8⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

        Nope. That’s part of it. But if that’s what you walked away with, that’s fine.

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