Comment on Is it sexist to say "I've never worn a wet dress before"
Deestan@lemmy.world 1 day ago
Not obviously, but it sounds like she is making a connection you don’t know what is.
You should ask her to explain what she means, so you’ll either understand that oh it was sexist didn’t think about it like that, or disagree on some knowable point.
actionjbone@sh.itjust.works 1 day ago
Yeah, this exactly. She has context in mind that she didn’t communicate with you. She may not realize you don’t know her context.
Best thing is to say something like, “I’m sorry for saying the thing you said was sexist. I’ll try to avoid making sexist remarks. But I’m not sure what was sexist about it, and I want to learn why so that I don’t do it again.”
Whether or not you think you owe her an apology, starting like that may help prevent her from getting defensive. That way, you can have a clearer conversation about it.
Whether or not it was actually sexist, she clearly had a reason for believing it was. And, agree or not, the reason is real to her.
thebestaquaman@lemmy.world 1 day ago
In general, I don’t think it’s right to lie down flat whenever someone accuses you of saying something wrong, just because they think it was wrong.
It should be pretty fair to respond with a simple “why is that sexist? I think wet clothes are uncomfortable, so I assumed others did as well.”
actionjbone@sh.itjust.works 1 day ago
It’s not about lying down, it’s about de-escalating.
That can be a touchy subject, so a little bit of humility helps prevent hurt feelings.
undefined@lemmy.hogru.ch 23 hours ago
To add to that, I know that if I just came out and said exactly “why is that sexist?” it probably would sound like I’m copping an attitude. So I think it’s safer to approach it more delicately.