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Comment on We really don't want to talk about our problems

Therapy has become the new buzzword to prescribe to any individualistic issue because most people don’t know what it is or who its for, they just think it’s a silver bullet solution to everything because everybody else says so… but it’s not.

Therapy is great for specific people with specific disorders, it’s there to help provide these people with solutions and treatments to improve their conditions. It’s not meant to be a replacement for a social circle or to fix the problems in your life.

Not to mention that therapy is either expensive or hard to access or the therapist you do get to see are usually not that great. It is very hard and very rare to find a good therapist that’s affordable and nearby. Even then, a therapist can only do so much. They’re trained to work through common disorders using several established methods, but not much beyond that. Therapists can help you overcome your anxiety, but they can’t help you find meaningful relationships.

This is doubly true for men, because a lot of men are facing issues related to finding purpose and meaning in life, and that’s something that’s beyond the scope of therapy. Maybe these issues could be resolved as a result of treating a disorder, but that’s not always the case. The point is that therapy is not a magical solution, and it’s not going to solve huge societal problems like men turning their backs on society.

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NotANumber@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨5⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago
You say men are turning their backs on society. I would argue it’s the other way round. Modern society has lots of problems unfortunately, and can be quite hostile especially to men.

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- Gorilladrums@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago
  I don’t think these two things are mutually exclusive
  
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  - NotANumber@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨5⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago
    Yes this is very true. I think if anything they go hand in hand, if society is hostile towards you, you are equally more likely to turn your back on it. If you start turning away from society, people are more hostile, so it reinforces that decision. It’s still a systematic failing though. Society should be pulling people back from the brink, not pushing them further.
    
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- selfdefense420@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago
  men built society. whatever problems are inherent in it were practically designed by men. as a matter of fact, the further we go, the more we slip away from the feminine qualities of our humanity (our more egalitarian hunter-gatherer roots). and as it begins to collapse around us, you incels are gonna cry about how it’s unfair? fuck you. put your big boy pants on and deal with it. or better yet, retreat completely from it and let the people with honest consciences rebuild it.
  
  god, i fucking hate incels.
  
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  - NotANumber@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨5⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago
    This is a rather bizarre response to come up with. First I am not an incel, that’s a right wing ideology I don’t subscribe to. I mean some of the concepts they use don’t even make sense statistically - like they are logically impossible. I digress.
    
    Women make up more than half the population. Sexism wouldn’t have been as big of a problem and still wouldn’t be as big of a problem if women didn’t perpetuate it too. Just look at the trad wife movement or modern women who despise feminism, or like any women’s beauty standards, or the whole thing about matching outfits, etc. All of these are forms of sexism that men just don’t engage in to nearly the extent women do. Purity tests for butch lesbians and trans girls is another one. At least you can argue that men also do that, but they aren’t the ones kicking women out of bathrooms.
    
    Absolutely toxic masculinity is a problem largeley caused by men, but that’s not the fault of the individual. Like I didn’t decide that boys don’t cry. Plenty of women too help perpetuate and reinforce these ideas by doing things like breaking up with men who show any vulnerability. There is a reason why gay men are better at this.
    
    As for the whole thing of slipping further away from feminine qualities - you do know not all past societies were more feminine, right? Have you heard of ancient Greece? You do realize feminism has made large strides at addressing much of these issues? Like this all used to be much worse, things have been progressively changing for the better and still are in most places. It’s only the USA that seems to have taken a nosedive recently. Even that is a push back against broader change.
    
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    selfdefense420@lemmy.world ⁨2⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago
    
    you do know not all past societies were more feminine, right? Have you heard of ancient Greece?
    
    you do realize that hunter-gatherer societies are WAY older than ancient Greece, right? we’re talking about a time before agriculture. you do not understand the context of what i was saying. your entire argument here displays a very juvenile understanding of life in general, so maybe i’m just talking to a bunch of children.
    
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- outhouseperilous@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨5⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago
  This is, of course, the fault of women.
  
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  - NotANumber@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨5⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago
    No? It’s the fault of all genders. Men perpetuate ideas that hurt other men, and women perpetuate ideas that hurt other women. Vice versa is equally true.
    
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    outhouseperilous@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨5⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago
    Im sure. So hard to hear men have it so uniquely rough.
    
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selfdefense420@lemmy.world ⁨5⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago
therapy also teaches a lot of sociopathic traits.

my SIL went through therapy recently (after getting into a weird polygamous relationship which allowed her the $$ to do so). she and my wife had lived through a pretty traumatic upbringing after their wonderful father died and left them to deal with a BPD mother who blew through the family money and left them to practically fend for themselves while being batshit crazy.

all the therapist taught her was to be selfish. she practically cut off contact with both her sister and mother and just got really good at doing what was best for herself and herself only. since then, her mother has become disabled and now my wife is having to deal with it all alone while the sister lives a very lavish life on a farm.

fuck therapy and fuck modern life in general. no wonder we’re all becoming assholes.

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- NotANumber@lemmy.dbzer0.com ⁨5⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago
  If the mother is so bad and abusive then why is your wife helping her? I think the sister did the right thing here. The state has mechanisms to take care of the elderly for good reasons.
  
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