Comment on Where Have All My Deep Male Friendships Gone?
SupaTuba@lemm.ee 4 weeks agoAs a woman with a few close male friends that I love very much, I wish it was more ok to hug and hold hands with them. I wish that friends, regardless of gender, could be close.
For some reason, in America, we just assume some kind of sexual attraction or relationship when people have any kind of physical contact.
But, man, sometimes I just want to hug my best friend when we’re both going through it. Sometimes, I just want to hold hands for the comfort of knowing that we’ve got each other. There’s nothing more to this want. It’s as simple as that. But it feels like an impossible dream for society to ever accept this.
So I don’t. And it hurts.
I dream of a day when men and women can all open up freely to each other, equally and without stigma. And a day when we can all comfort each other without rumors or questions.
confusedpuppy@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 weeks ago
I met someone at a Halloween party last year. She’s queer. In the short time we’ve known each other, we’ve become very close.
We seem to have similar minds and are very generous with the space we give each other when it comes to being ourselves. Not physical space but in an understanding way. For example, I know she’s terrible at time management so I never pressure her for being late but I’m also able to do things that can encourage her to be less late. She ends up spending more time doing the things she enjoys without the pressures or guilt of being late.
That sort of space has created this feeling of comfort and safety between us. She feels safe and comfortable with me and shows it all the time. She tells me she loves me all the time. She gives me the tightest hugs all the time. She rests her head on my shoulders or leans into me while we are sitting next to each other. None of this is sexual but it is very much full of love. Other people seem to notice too. Some people have called us cute. Others just seem to smile more and are happier when we are around. It feels really nice.
As a person who is very difficult to touch and does not touch other people very often, this has been such a different experience for me. I like it though, it feels so cozy. I wish had more of this throughout my life. I wish others had more of this throughout their lives.
To me it feels as though modern, north American expectations around love are too much and too high. There’s so many ways to feel and express love. Love doesn’t need to end with sex and marriage. There doesn’t need to be an end goal. It can just be love. I’m very greatful to have met someone who can express their love so freely. It gives me a chance to learn more.