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Bytemeister@lemmy.world ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago

Leashing kids is not normal, or acceptable.

I grew up with 6 siblings, and divorced parents. Never in my life have I, or my siblings, been leashed (by our parents at least).

I’d never even seen a child on a leash until I went to the Georgia Aquarium, where I saw lots of kids on leashes. All the kids had the same kind of parent holding the lead. Some huge bitch with her nose stuck in her phone instead of enjoying the day with her kid that she fucking paid for.

Leashes are not normal, they are a sign of abuse.

“Oh, it’s needed for the kid’s safety”

No, it is not. I’ve been to cliffs, canyons, Yellowstone, caves and big cities in all kinds of venues, and I’ve only seen kids on leashes specifically in child-friendly venues, playgrounds, museums, and zoos, in the Bible-belt areas of the US. It’s not dangerous for kids to be off a leash and have some autonomy. If you are taking them to a place where it’s dangerous for them to act like children…then why the fuck are you taking them there in the first place?!

“My kid has special needs…”

Still doesn’t need a fucking leash. I worked at a daycamp for special needs children, and we never leashed or even restrained a child unless they were doing something dangerous to themselves or others. Even then, there was paperwork for the incident, and the restraint was always temporary. At 16 years old, I was a camp counselor for 4 special needs children at a time. An adult does not need a leash for just one.

There is one thing that leashes give parents, and that is a sense of physical domination of their child. Anything else is just an excuse.

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ExtantHuman@lemm.ee ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago
Wrong, it’s perfectly normal.

From the sounds of things, you are not a parent trying to comment on things you know nothing about. The leash actually gives toddlers freedom they wouldn’t otherwise have. It lets them walk around, with some constraints, instead of being stuck riding in a stroller all the time. Kids at that age will jet off real quick. You take your eyes off then for a second and they’re gone.

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- Bytemeister@lemmy.world ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago
  It’s not perfectly normal. Believe it or not, I was a child at one time. Never put on a leash. My brothers and sisters, never leashed. Nieces and nephews? No leashes for them. Okay maybe it’s just my family.
  
  Going to parties with other kids? Never saw a child on a leash there.
  
  Our of state? I traveled many states as a kid, I didn’t see other kids on leashes at the ST. Louis Arch, nor at the Smithsonian.
  
  The first time I saw a kid on a leash, was in Atlanta, at age 14.
  
  It. Is. Not. Fucking. Normal.
  
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  - ExtantHuman@lemm.ee ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago
    Just because YOU weren’t didn’t mean it isn’t common. Your parents did it the hard way. For no reason.
    
    I was leashed as a toddler in the early 90s. I am not ashamed of that.
    
    You don’t leash kids at parties, that’s an enclosed private space with little risk of them running off, what a weird pointless anecdote. You apparently being sheltered isn’t a good argument.
    
    Sounds like you weren’t going to places where very young children were in attendance. You use them in busy public places that require movement. Like a zoo. You see them all the time at places like that. It’s better than a stroller and you don’t have to worry about a half second of taking your eyes off the kids, they’re jetting into the crowd. Even more useful if you have multiples.
    
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    Bytemeister@lemmy.world ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago
    
    You apparently being sheltered isn’t a good argument.
    
    Complete missed where I had traveled across the US as a kid.
    
    I don’t think I was a sheltered kid. 7 of us vs one parent at a time didn’t leave a lot of bandwidth for them to be helicopter parents. Wasn’t a latchkey kid either. I’d walk myself and my brothers home from school most days. During the summer we’d walk down to the pool on our own, or sometimes take a younger sibling with us if they wanted to go (surprise surprise, no leashes at the pool) or we’d walk across town and grab snacks from the grocery store (still no leashes).
    
    Leahing kids is not normal, if you don’t believe me, try to find video of a place where more than 3 are leashed in the background of a news report or puff piece.
    
    The vast majority of kids aren’t leashed. It’s not normal.
    
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Nefara@lemmy.world ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago
It’s normal enough. I saw a couple of kids on wrist leashes just this weekend at a very crowded outdoor event. The kids were probably about 2 and 3. I have a 3 year old as well, and didn’t have him on a leash because he’s responsive to my voice calling him and has decent (for his age) impulse control. I didn’t judge or have negative impressions of those parents. They were present and just trying to enjoy the event with their kids. It’s HIGHLY kid dependent. When I was a toddler, I was the type to just run off in a crowd and I could have saved my mother a lot of grief and panic if she had a leash for me. It’s just another tool available to parents.

It’s important not to project your feelings as an adult, because you have different assumptions, associations and contexts tied to leashes than a toddler does. Generally, toddlers are taught to have shame or be embarrassed about things, their default sentiment to most things is extremely pragmatic. A toddler on a leash will be focused on the tactile sensation of it on their wrist or body, the effect it has of limiting their movement, and not much else. Think about when you saw those kids on leashes… were they upset about the leash? Were they trying to get out of it? Were they asking their guardians to please take it off? Or were they just kinda being silly kids running around exploring?

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- Bytemeister@lemmy.world ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago
  
  Think about when you saw those kids on leashes… were they upset about the leash?
  
  Probably, but I think at that point they’d learned not to complain to the person holding the lead that can yank them around like a dog.
  
  I can tell you they weren’t playing with the other kids. They were the only kids at the aquarium watching their parent more than the fish.
  
  If it’s so normal, where are all the movies and TV shows that portray kids on leashes? Where are the documentaries where people are waking around with leashed kids on the background? You don’t see it, because it’s not normal (in the US at least) outside of some very regressive areas.
  
  Sometimes bringing them along to a place with you is the only way they’ll have supervision.
  
  I think we need to make a distinction between places that are dangerous for kids, and places that are inconvenient for parents. You don’t have to take your toddler on a cliff walk, and you don’t need to leash them at the grocery store, or the bank.
  
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  - Nefara@lemmy.world ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago
    I’ve personally only seen kids on leashes in the context I mentioned above, of a large, crowded event where a few bodies moving in the way of your kid will break line of sight entirely. Outdoor festivals, concerts, fairs, amusement parks etc. I have never seen a kid on a leash at a playground or park or bank or grocery store etc. Toddlers are small and if there’s a lot of bodies around it would be VERY easy to lose sight of them. If my kid ran off and broke my line of sight of him in a crowd I absolutely would have a moment of panic. Again, I’m not going to judge other parents for finding solutions to problems that don’t harm the child.
    
    I got away from my mother at a large event, and left her panicking and organizing other parents to search for me. When they found me she spanked me and yelled at me for running off. It wasn’t the first time and wouldn’t be the last. Obviously hitting me was wrong, but if she had just used a tether it would never have happened.
    
    Something’s lack of representation in media is not exactly a reliable metric of commonality, if it was, gay people sprang into being in the late 90s.
    
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    Bytemeister@lemmy.world ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago
    Your gay analogy doesn’t work, because a culture of persecuting and demonizing gay people for thousands of years might have something to do with their refusal to publicly out themselves.
    
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frigidaphelion@lemmy.world ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago
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- Bytemeister@lemmy.world ⁨10⁩ ⁨months⁩ ago
  Why don’t you write a snide comment that adds nothing to the conversation?
  
  Nevermind, you already did.
  
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