First off, your tapeworms. Yeah, you really should’ve refused your friend’s pork chop. Next, your excess body fat. Next, your extreme aversion to feeling hunger. Everyone with a healthy lifestyle feels what you’d call “starving”, like, 2/3rds of the day. Now, your cancers. Yes, plural. Lung, skin, and colon. Pro tip: wear gloves even if your employer doesn’t provide them. Also, wear sunscreen. Next on the list… checks notes ah, yes. Done. What did I do? Do you remember what your nightmare last night was about? Yes, you had a nightmare. Excellent, anti-trauma neural circuit lobotomy was a success.