The problem was that The Onion tipped their hand. They needed to do what these high class tax dodgers do and create a completely separate legal entity (e.g. Information Combat Readiness Group) and submit bids under that name. Once purchased, sell the company to The Onion for pennies, or if they are really smart, rent the assets to the Onion for bajillion dollars, which then the Onion can write off and pay less taxes.

And yes, that’s how our corporate tax system works.