Comment

They’re skills, they require practice like everything else.

I have been on disability and unable to work for ~14 years now, and I certainly went through a long phase of just being a big couch potato with no ambition or dream other than to do the least amount of work I could possibly get away with and still have a tolerable life. My house was a mess, I was a mess, shit fell through the cracks, etc. But it wasn’t those things that drove me out of that pit, it was boredom. I started watching youtube videos and stumbled into science-related topics and discovered that despite hating school I actually quite enjoy learning. That’s what rekindled that curiosity in me, the drive to be doing something to better myself all the time, even if it was just packing my head full of information that served no other purpose other than it just being fucking cool to know shit about the world. From there I got motivated to read (I used to read literally everything I could get my hands on, and stopped for various reasons), to start caring about my health, to take care of myself, etc, and from there I started wanting things again. I discovered that what I - a ~20-year veteran of network engineering and security - am passionate about is writing and politics, so now I divide most of my time between seeking out deep, serious political discussions/debates and trying to write a novel (emphasis on the ‘trying’; maybe it’ll work out, maybe it won’t, but in the meantime I’m writing and it’s making me happy.)

I’m not saying all this to say ‘lookit me, I’m so fuckin’ awesome’, but to say that even going from being really depressed it’s still possible to find things in the world to be interested in and if you pursue those interests you will find something you’re passionate about. If you want to.

source

Sort:hotnew top

edgemaster72@lemmy.world ⁨22⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
That’s cool and good for you and all, seems like you had some good bases to build from, but that ain’t me.

I’m not big on skills or practice. Can’t rekindle a curiosity that I’ve never had. Can’t stick with anything long enough for self-improvement. Never enjoyed reading. No career to speak of, worked food service more than anything else.

I’m just running out the clock. Day by day, week by week, year by year.

source
- libra00@lemmy.world ⁨11⁩ ⁨hours⁩ ago
  No, I did not have some good bases to build from. I built myself back up from a years-long depression in which I had firmly decided that I was definitely going to end my life. But when the moment came I discovered that, for whatever reason, I just couldn’t do it. At which point I was left with no choice but to start finding ways to make life a bit less miserable no matter what it took. I dug myself out of that hole not because I had ‘good bases to build from’ but because I had no other choice. It sucked a whole lot for a long time, but having come through the other side of it I can tell you that it was absolutely worth it to put in the effort. Also when I say rekindled curiosity I mean the kind everyone has in childhood. I lost it sometime around puberty (for a variety of reasons), and didn’t get it back until my 40s.
  
  But if that’s the case re:running out the clock, let me ask you this - and I am by NO means suggesting a particular course of action here - why keep marking time? What do you gain from it that’s better than the alternative? There must be something, right? Figure out what it is and latch onto it like it’s the last lifeboat off the Titanic. The thing about life is that you don’t find meaning, you don’t get handed meaning by someone else, you make it yourself: you decide what is meaningful to you and what isn’t. If you’re content with the way things are then great, but if not then it’s on you to make a change.
  
  source