Comment on Is this picture idea immature?
SnotFlickerman@lemmy.blahaj.zone 11 months agoDating website: probably way too soon to share, just looks cringe.
First date: too soon to share, painfully obvious ploy for attention/trying to stand out.
Second date: getting closer, almost there.
Third date: probably safe to share as something endearing and silly.
My suggestion is to do it for yourself because it is fun, because trying to use it as a token to stand out from other men will be seen as a desperate attempt to be funny/quirky, if you bring it out to early.
I think this is the reason he shouldn’t do it. If the whole reason to do it is to attract women, that is pretty unattractive. It would be funny if they just did it for the “fuck it, why not be silly?” aspect of it, but I feel like if the original reason is to attract women, then the jig is up and it is forced and weird.
“Let’s be silly” is cool and attractive. “Let’s be silly so we can attract women” is cringe and off-putting.
What you say is not universally true. There are women (I know, being one of them) who are attracted by silly. To me, seeing a man enjoying a silly situation he himself created means I could potentially enjoy something like that with him one day, which is super exciting to me. If OP wants to meet someone to share silly things with, he should include such photo - it’s going to filter out the women who are way too serious.
I think you might be misunderstanding me. I don’t mean to say women aren’t attracted by silliness. I mean to say that a person who tries to be a certain way (can be silly, serious, whatever) because they think it will attract a mate is less attractive, especially compared with than a person who is just a certain way because that’s how they are.
Being your true self is more attractive than trying to be act in a way that you think will attract someone, yknow?
But I agree with you (although I’m a man), silly is attractive. But being silly with the express intent of impressing potential romantic partners? Way less attractive
Ok, I get this and agree. I’d argue though OP probably is genuinely silly. The problem is when you use dating apps, you have to present yourself in some way. Taking pictures of yourself and choosing the good ones is really quite a killer of spontaneity and truthfullness. And everyone knows you want to show off your good sides in the profile. Taking silly pictures with his cousin that he may end up being a bit embarrased about later seems as genuine as it gets.
Precisely why I said that he should do it for himself because it is fun. It’s also why I consider it third date material. Not something you bring up spontaneously, but more that they’ve come back to your apartment and see the photo hanging on your fridge. A casual introduction to it, not forced. It’s hanging on your fridge because it’s genuinely something you had fun doing, not because you wanted to use it to get women.
But, agreed, if the core of the reason for doing it is to attract women, it’s going to backfire spectacularly.
oop my bad, I wrote out my comment and then deleted my main point. I think you hit the nail on the head, my only differing opinion is that I think at this point, it’s really difficult to change the underlying reason that he’s doing it. At least for me, I wouldnt be able to just “turn off” the original intent of attracting women.
If I went ahead with the plan trying to tell myself, “Well originally it was about getting dates and impressing women, but now its just about having fun,” I feel like I’d still be subconsciously doing it for the female gaze. That’s why I say the jig is up – if I were him, I’d bag the idea and wait for next purely silly fun idea
AnAmericanPotato@programming.dev 11 months ago
You might be right in this case, but I also want to point out that most dating profile fucking suck, and it’s not because they are too “cringe” or immature; it’s because they are all the same generic pictures. Wedding, gym, hiking, dead-fish, bar, dog.