tend to act unconsciously towards my own self-preservation and interest.

I don’t see that as a fault. One must take care of themselves first, then if possible, take on the burden of others.

Many people do the opposite and tend to everyone’s needs but their own. Then they fall apart at some point, never fulfilled.

You may have codependent friends or family like that skewing your perception of what’s best, causing you all this undue guilt.