Comment on If I’m mostly attracted to men, is it «wrong» to consider myself pan?
serpineslair@lemmy.world 2 days ago
The way I see it, does it really matter what the correct term is? I don’t see why terms are necessary. People have there preferences/place on the spectrum, like you mentioned. No offense intended to anyone here, but I think the term “pan” is sorta pointless. At the end of the day it sounds like you are bi, and your preference leans towards dudes/away from women.
Feel free to educate me if I’ve got this wrong.
spankmonkey@lemmy.world 2 days ago
I see things the same way, anything beyond asexual, straight, gay, and bi tends to add more nuance than is useful outside of someone who is trying to figure themselves out. Mainly because everyone has some kind of preference even if it is emotional/personality and other non-physical traits. For example, straight people have tons of variation in how many people they find attractive based on physical and/or behavioral and other traits.
If a label needs to be explained when it is used, then it isn’t a useful for general use.
serpineslair@lemmy.world 2 days ago
Right-on spankmonkey! Great way of explaining it. I’m gonna be a dick, though, and take things a step further. I don’t see the need for asexual either. Surely that means you have a low sex drive, and prefer to judge people based on personality. What do you think?
spankmonkey@lemmy.world 2 days ago
Asexual people have zero drive, the to the point that they only have sex because of either trying to fit into social expectations or because they are in a relationship where they are trying to meet their partner’s drive. They personally are not sexually attracted to anyone.
None is different from the categories of (in general) opposite, same, and all.
On that note, even things like straight are fuzzy because a man being attracted to a very feminine man in drag can consider themselves straight or not depending on whether they see someone as a woman because of presentation or genitalia or a combination of both. But not being sexually attracted to anyone or not having a sex drive at all is significantly different and is worth including.
AuroraGlamour@lemmy.ml 2 days ago
Asexual here. Perfect explanation. 😊
howrar@lemmy.ca 2 days ago
Asexuality isn’t about sex drive. It’s a question of where you direct sexual desires. If it’s not directed at anyone (whether it’s because it’s non-existent, because it’s undirected, or it’s directed at fictional characters or objects), then that’s asexual. Apparently, non-asexual people experience this thing where they see someone attractive and get a “I want to have sex with this specific person” feeling.
serpineslair@lemmy.world 2 days ago
Yup, that makes sense. You’re right. Thanks.