Comment on Chip companies should package all the broken pieces in the factory and sell it as: "Chip Dust".

• Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

  Buy 2 cartons on vanilla ice cream. Eat 1. Now scoop half of the second one into the empty 1st carton so you have 2 half cartons.

  Now go eat a family size bag of dorritos. What? You’re trying to tell me you’re not sitting there in your greasy sweatpants that haven’t been washed in 2 weeks, after having JUST eaten an entire carton of ice cream BY YOURSELF, and you’re going to say that the family size dorritos is too much for you? Pssshhhh!!! Stop lying. You’re not fooling anybody about your dietary habits. Everybody knows.

  So, now that you’ve eaten the whole bag of dorritos, you should have a pretty decent size amount of small bits that are too small to be called chips. And a thick layer of dust. Now, put the mostly empty bag on the table, and just start punching it like life has punched your hopes and dreams in life. You thought you were going to grow up and be a big important business guy who carried a briefcase, and shoots a gun in business meetings because someone brought the wrong kind of coffee. Instead you work at starbucks and get yelled at by the guy who’s about to be shot for bringing the wrong kind of coffee. You intentionally made it wrong so you knew he’d get shot. ORDER FOR BRETT!!! Brett’s going to die doing what he loves. Getting shot.

  Now all those bits should also be dust, so you should have a fair bit amount of dust. Don’t snort it! It’s not cocaine! Instead, go snort a line of cocaine, because cocaine IS cocaine, and you have 15 strippers in your living room and a bag full of cocaine just ready to THIS IS THE FEDS!!!

  BOOM! FRONT DOOR IS BREACHED!

  HANDS ON THE GROUND!!! GET DOWN! GET DOWN!!!

  funky music plays, all the feds dance in a dance party

  Pants on the ground, pants on the ground! Lookin’ like a fool with your pants on the ground! Gold in your mouth! Hat turned sideways, pants hit the ground, call yourself a cool cat! Pick em up!

  …what were we talking about again?

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  • MycelialMass@lemmy.world ⁨3⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    That was a trip

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  • SatansMaggotyCumFart@lemmy.world ⁨4⁩ ⁨days⁩ ago

    Have you ever gotten stoned and spent all day eating Doritos and jerking off than woken up with an orange extra cheesy dick?

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