Comment on SAD
dingus@lemmy.world 5 days agoSo I’m not who you asked, but I consider myself to be on the asexual spectrum. No, I don’t get horny.
But here’s the thing. As a teen, I stumbled into the term asexuality and thought I finally found others like me! But then reading through the forums, most of them seemed to talk about still getting horny and having a libido. They choose to masturbate instead of having sex with a partner. Or, some of them will even still have sex with a partner.
Confusing to me. To me, desiring sexual things at all doesn’t fall in line with what the term “asexual” means at first glance. It seems like they should have chosen a different term. Still made me feel like an outcast among both the sexual and asexual communities.
Anyway…tl;dr is some do, some don’t.
victorz@lemmy.world 5 days ago
Thank you for that. So for you personally, have you ever gotten horny before you stopped getting horny? And do you nowadays find yourself having the same kind of intense feeling about something else than sexual desire? Like food or drink, or doing something else? Is there a substitute, I guess is what I’m asking.
dingus@lemmy.world 5 days ago
I’ve never “stopped” getting horny because I never started to begin with. Like I said, it was confusing growing up when my peers would experience that and talk about that and I couldn’t relate. I know that if you experience a sudden decrease/lack of libido even though you once experienced it, it is often a symptom of depression. But that’s not how it worked in my case. That’s just how I’ve always been. And still others assumed I was just a “late bloomer”. Again no. Early on I suppose one could postulate that but I’m now 30 lol. My body went through the normal changes of puberty at a normal age too so everything seems to be fine in that department!
I wouldn’t know what intense sexual desire feels like, so I don’t know how I would be able to compare said desire to anything else like you describe. I will say I have absolutely never been a passionate person about anything. So it’s interesting to me when I stumble across someone who describes their passion for their career or a particular hobby or etc. I have not ever really experienced that. I have likes and dislikes, but not so much passions.
I am more than capable of experiencing other types of emotions tho…happiness and sadness are ones that I have the ability to feel very strongly depending on the scenario. Moreso than others to the point where it gets me in trouble sometimes honestly.
victorz@lemmy.world 5 days ago
I’m thankful for you sharing this personal experience, thank you very much. I hope this serves to normalize asexuality for anyone reading. I had nothing against asexuality to begin with of course, but I still learned something today. Again, thanks. All the best to you!
dingus@lemmy.world 5 days ago
Thank you, same to you as well!
But yeah I do want to stress that this was just my personal experience. Other people who identify as asexual may have radically different experiences.