I have been struggling with this lately. I am staunchly anti violence and anti war, and yet, I am conflicted on how far I truly would be willing to go to cull classism, fascism, racism, transphobia , homophobia, misogyny, and pedophilia from the world.

These things are abhorrent to me, and I wonder how much of my humanity I’d be willing to sacrifice in exchange for even one of these no longer being in existence amongst the ranks of humanity.

How much help does pacifism give to the world? How much harm does it give.

Two scenes from media I consume have lately continually resurfaced in my mind. One is this scene from Vinland Saga, where the main character’s father confronts him when he finds his sword. The father is about to go off to war, and somberly asks his son who he wants to kill with his father’s sword. This culminates with the father, who again, is about to go off to war, that there is no such thing as enemies.

The other is this scene from Star Wars Andor, in which the leader of a burgeoning Rebellion is asked by a spy who wishes to defect to the Empire asks what he sacrifices for the fight against the Empire. The monologue he delivers is chilling, acknowledging he sacrifices all things that make him human, he becomes like his enemy in order to defeat them. When he reflects on the question, and asks, “So what do I sacrifice? Everything!”

That…is how I feel when I think on the fascism that has come to America. Having no enemies… if only. Truly. Having enemies robs me of my humanity. The thing I struggle with is…am I the one who makes them my enemies? Or are they? And if the only thing we can agree on is that we are enemies…then what choice do we have when they come for me and those I claim as my kin?