Comment on On a scale of 1-10 how perverted would you rate your own sexuality?
RBWellsV23@lemmynsfw.com 15 hours agoSo you would put more people as kinky because you think most are repressing very dark shit? Maybe, but seems like most people I know kind of don’t care that much about sex, if that makes sense. If it’s more like violence that just sometimes finds a sexual outlet, is that even kinky?
The 1-5 I’d put as:
1 is asexual, do not even feel desire at all.
2 the demisexual who can kinda enjoy it if you do but really are just doing it for someone else they wouldn’t bother for themselves.
3 the people who have to be in love to feel sexual desire, they can be ‘unlocked’, basically, it’s just part of love to them. May actually do more variety of stuff but only for someone else, really do not feel independent sexual desire but love and sex entwined.
4 I think of as the normal people who can enjoy sex as an activity, outside of a relationship just for physical pleasure but it doesn’t pull at them so hard, and they don’t want unusual stuff just sex. Probably don’t seek out sex specifically, but dates,
5 the normal people who are more adventurous, and who get frustrated sooner, have a more active sex drive and will seek out sex partners, will go outside their comfort zone if a partner suggests it. Sexually active normal people I don’t think of as kinky.
I just think probably a very large chunk of people just don’t prioritize sex or need anything very specific.
j4k3@lemmy.world 12 hours ago
Everyone has the same basic hormonal needs as humans. Every human must balance these needs on some level. This is the lowest foundational level of everything I see and understand about sexuality. All forms of sexual expression are roads on a map that lead back to here. Therefore, everyone is traveling on this road map. Some people may be on Obvious Kinky Street or Furry Lane, but everyone is on one of these paths, even if it is on some super secret side street out of view, and one they walk in circles on for their entire lives. The amount of travel and exploration vary greatly, but it is all within the spectrum of the roads and connections on this map. Dark shit happens because of mental health issues, but also because we heavily stigmatize many connections present on this map or straight up deny that some roads exist. Basically, kinks are one manifestation of sexual intelligence and self awareness.
RBWellsV23@lemmynsfw.com 8 hours ago
Oh, so more like you are asking how actualized are your kinks? I think that is a good question. I spent a stupid long time waiting for my sexuality to evolve and turn into what I considered the ‘real’ adult woman sexuality, which involved getting off on taking charge. Like, even though my very earliest sexual fantasies were about being forced (not even sexually, necessarily) and never about anything except that power play stuff, I really truly thought I ought not want it, that it was some sort of unfinished or lazy thing. One day had a revelation that if any of my friends had some kink I’d be so accepting of them, never ever would I think they needed to change, so tried to give myself the same consideration, and am much more in alignment now. So in the scale of acceptance, maybe 8 or so. But I do not agree that everyone ‘vanilla’ is repressing hidden depths of perversity. I think many, probably most people really aren’t. Even those with a healthy sex drive. And no way does everyone have the same levels of general need, it took me 40 years to find a guy who runs as hot as me, get it every day now for about 15 years :)
j4k3@lemmy.world 7 hours ago
More like, are kinks a facet of functional thought. I think they are. The way an AI models roleplays also defaults to this pattern.
People seriously get bent out of shape over this, but I can’t get past the idea that so many people among the elite went to Epstein’s island. I support the cultural taboo against kids and pedophilia BTW. The fact that Epstein was a thing says a whole lot about society, human nature, and the real underlying statistics. Everything I look at seems to point to certain personalities having specific proclivities in common.
We are still products of our environment, so people that have social pressures pushing them into self suppression can be volatile.
I can turn my sex drive on and off a will, but off only lasts a few weeks to a month. Otherwise daily service needed at a minimum.
Of course, like most things, my real world kink is meta; exploring my partner’s kinks and experience. It has been a very long time since I’ve been able to practice but whatever. It was never about me in the first place, so I mind less about being alone now. I would likely hurt myself anyways because chronic damage to the thoracic spine is weird. I know I would likely try too hard and push my physicality too far. I’m so much more self aware than I was in my late twenties. It would be fun to explore what level of nuance I am capable of perceiving and responding to. I can become anyone or play any role when required, if I am given the time to mull over the role.
I can be mildly amused by things like power dynamics, but my empathy is always on the edge of concerned. I probably like breaking the rules themes most just because it harkens back to my highschool days. These are elements that can get my attention, or make me smile, but are not like an effective call to action. A lover saying she wants to explore, or just play my little games of teasing, thrilling, and applying every bit of my attention to her on every level I can attend to, that is my biggest call to action. I want to play and make someone feel a little better than last time in a tangible way. It is like playing an instrument. I’m looking for my magnum opus in every attempt. I can be chill, or quick if needed. I’ll add some flair, but my favorite is to attempt to play every instrument in the symphony all at the same time with music in the style to suit the listener. I both have no kinks, and have all the kinks at the same time… Quantum cat sex…I guess that is my style… Schrödy kink? Gives a new facet to getting physical.