Do you have kids? I used to hate when people would ask me that question before I had kids, because it seems to imply that having them places your opinion on a higher tier. Now that I do, I try and avoid it as much as possible for that reason, but I do understand that parenting is one of the theaters where theory space, and optimal practice, can be very different. The fact is, they never have to know, at least until they’re old enough to understand. They don’t have to know that Dad is sad when he’s alone with Mom, because we still have fun and laugh as a family when they are present. The lesson that I’m teaching them by example, is that it is better to have one bedroom than two, then to have to decide whether they want to live with mom or dad most of the time, that even though Mom and Dad civilly argue sometimes, we can still be a family, and be happy most of the time, rather than give up on a promise made before they were born because of factors they can’t possibly understand yet.
Comment on Very thankful
Hacksaw@lemmy.ca 5 days agoIt’s better to show your kids what is like to be happy and have your needs met than to show them being miserable and setling. Especially on their behalf.
Which would you rather for your kids?
Which are you showing your kids by example?
stoicmaverick@lemmy.world 5 days ago
Hacksaw@lemmy.ca 5 days ago
Yeah. I had a dad that didn’t get laid too. Sex is in the bottom layers of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, then intimacy is up higher as well. If you’re not getting these things you’re not going to be able to hide them. Your kids won’t know why until they’re much older WHY your not happy, but that is a sadness of the soul that nothing can hide.
You ever see one of your friends the day after they get laid and you just know. That’s a kind of joy from having your needs met that you can’t fake.
You’re teaching your kids it’s OK with someone who doesn’t meet your needs. It’s not.
Be with someone who makes you happy. Let your wife do the same. Show your kids what a happy marriage and happy parents look like so they can model their relationships that way. Don’t continue the cycle.
Emerald@lemmy.world 5 days ago
Ah, yes. Let me tell the children that I’m getting a divorce cause wifey won’t fuck me
Clinicallydepressedpoochie@lemmy.world 5 days ago
How about, “Daddys leaving because he no longer in a loving relationship with mommy.” Divorce isn’t the end of the world.
Emerald@lemmy.world 5 days ago
Except it seems from the comment that they are still in a loving relationship, just not much of a sexual one.
Clinicallydepressedpoochie@lemmy.world 5 days ago
If your partner does not acknowledge you as a serial being, that isn’t very loving.
silasmariner@programming.dev 5 days ago
For real though, why is everyone heading straight to divorce, instead of talking about how to tap that wife
Clinicallydepressedpoochie@lemmy.world 5 days ago
Cause it’s condescending to explain to a person you don’t know who has been in a serious relationship with a person for who knows how long that you can tap it if you’re just an extra good boy.
ReplicantBatty@lemmy.one 5 days ago
‘Hey kids, your mom won’t give daddy the nookie so I’ma head out now’
Clinicallydepressedpoochie@lemmy.world 5 days ago
Ok, but me being in my late 30s I’d be like, I get dad.
ReplicantBatty@lemmy.one 5 days ago
Fair enough, it really does depend on how old the kids are, but the mental image was too funny to me
interdimensionalmeme@lemmy.ml 5 days ago
Hire sex workers and tell her.