✔️ The ability to run on multiple devices. Me, my family and friends all have multiple Android devices. ✔️ The ability to run on desktop. Linux and Windows. X Built in sticker repository. What can I say, I like to lazy flirt. X Animated Emoji. I like my messenger experience vibrant. ✔️(partial Material You. Again with the vibrancy, but also, it’s a sign of modernity. ✔️ Phone number linking. My family and friends are lazy as hell. ✔️ Synchronized chats. I don’t mind self hosting a bridge, but the ability to see messages on multiple devices is a must. ✔️ Voice Messages ✔️ Video Calls ✔️ Group Video Calls ✔️? Stories integrated into as first class citizens

Not sure what you meant by stories integrated as first class citizens. Signal does have stories, though.

In summary, signal fits your criteria quite well, only missing out on full material you support, stickers, and animated emojis. I may be missing an app, but I believe that this is the best you will get without going for telegram.