This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/VegetableShine8843 on 2023-10-02 10:38:14.

This might be a bit of a weird background but hang on until I (16F) explain. My parents were young when they had me. My mom had no family of her own and from the age of like 12, when she and my dad first got close, my dad’s family became hers too. My parents dated all through high school and had me right after graduating. My mom died in her sleep when I was only 6 months old. She was 19.

My dad was never interested in me and he and my grandparents fought a lot from the time I was born to the time my mom died. They were disgusted with his lack of love or concern for me. They wanted him to be a better father than he was being and apparently pointed out my mom was the same age as him and had stepped up. But he wasn’t interested. After mom died my grandparents were terrified that my dad would fuck me up. So they made a deal with him. They would get legal custody, they would raise me, and they would give him some money every month for him to do what he liked. I know it sounds strange but they saw it as a way to keep him from me unless he was serious about being a dad.

I never actually saw him at all when I was little. A couple of years ago I saw him from a distance for the first time. He had some woman with him. They later got married. I would see them around but decided to still keep my distance. His wife knew about me before they even married. Now they’re having a baby girl and my aunt was told by the wife that they wanted to name their baby Serenity, which is my name. She spoke to me about it because she wanted to warn me.

The second I heard about this I hated it. I saw so many issues because we would have the exact same name… I have no middle name and my aunt said they had no plans to use a middle name either. Our last names would be the same too. Plus it felt like the sharing a name could be used by some people to push for me to be in the child’s life.

I asked my grandparents if they could convince him not to do it. They spoke to him and he was saying he just wanted his wife to be happy. They told him he could forget about the money if he does, since it would be fucking me over. I think my grandparents also hated the idea that he was sending a clear message that he never loved me by just using the name for the kid he wants to raise. My dad ended up backing down.

His wife was pissed and she blamed me even though he said it was my grandparents who intervened. She said she knows I must have said I didn’t like it or something and whatever I did, I was a selfish little c*** because I took away her chance to name her child what she wanted. She said Serenity was a name she chose when she was little and always wanted to use it. My grandparents came home while she was ranting at me and made her leave.

My dad and his wife are no longer welcome at all. I can’t get what she she said out of my head. So I feel like I need to ask… AITA?