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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Justanaunt2 on 2023-09-16 17:16:56.

I (F42) live with my husband Alex (M45) and our daughters Eve (F18) and Eva (F16). We live in a different city from our families due to work.

A few months ago my sister asked me if her daughter Kate (F19) can stay with us since she was starting college in our city. She was scared of her daughter moving away for first time, especially to a big city like ours.

I knew Kate from before Covid time and remembered her to be a smart sweet kid. I discussed with my husband and we agreed she can stay with us.

Kate moved in around two months back. She was fine, came home on time, let us know her whereabouts, no partying.

The issue was with food. She had turned vegan.

Normally I cook for my family. I cook just one meal for all. And we are all diary obsessed people. Milk for cereal, butter in pancakes, cheese in everything. Eggs were our staple.

Kate needed separate dishes altogether and we needed vegan substitutes for her. Since those are way more expensive, I told my sister she should give money to Kate so she can buy it. She stared telling me how family doesn’t take money from family to feed kids. I told her I would feed Kate same as other kids but I won’t spent excess money on her. She said thats fine.

Since her mom won’t buy it, Kate started buying plant based substitutes with her pocket money. For dishes like pancakes, I made food for her using her incrediants.

But everytime I made a huge non vegan meal, she expected me to provide equivalent vegan meals. I drew line at that. I can’t spend so much time cooking another meal. She said everyone else got to eat it while she was left with few stuff go eat. I told her she is free to cook for herself and she hated that idea.

It came to a boiling point last weekend when we had a barbeque dinner with friends. She got upset that her salad was very basic, (it was good only with chicken added) and had nothing else to eat. She complained and I told her she can cook for herself. She got even more upset at that and called her mom crying about how I didn’t make any good meals for her and expected her to fend for herself.

My sister called me yelling at me how I didn’t love her daughter and was intentionally excluding her. My parents are also taking their side.

AITA ?