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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/buzzkillwifi on 2023-09-10 19:57:18.

A year ago my husband got a really great job. He loves it. It over doubled our income. The problem is he’s never here. It requires a lot of travel and he’s gone more of the month than he’s home.

We have three kids. 8, 6, 3. We have two dogs. I am run ragged. I don’t have any family to help me. I don’t have time for friends. It’s never ending. Cleaning, kids, cooking, kids, dogs, dogs, school, kids, cleaning cleaning kids CLEANING COOKING CLEANING. No time for me whatsoever.

Before my husband got this job we worked opposite schedules. I worked in a restaurant/bar in the evenings. Didnt pay great but a couple really good friends worked there with me. It was how I socialized. Now that he’s gone, I couldn’t work that job since nobody watches kids at night. Now I work a part time retail job I hate with what are essentially children (in comparison to me). I don’t get to socialize like I used to. I only work the hours my kids are in school. But we have after school activities, homework, dogs, dinner, never ending chores, etc. THERE IS NO TIME FOR ME. I don’t even get to sleep alone since my 6 year old has night terrors.

When my husband was here, things felt more divided. I still did a lot during the day, but it wasn’t never ending. There would still be days I didn’t have to worry about lunches or bath time or homework because my husband would pick up the slack. I could go out with friends from time to time.

Don’t even get me started on what it’s like when the kids get sick and then I inevitably get sick. It’s absolute misery and he’s not around to see it. I’m left drowning.

But he doesn’t want to quit. He loves his job and that’s fair. I can see he’s way happier now, but what about me? Don’t I matter? I don’t know how I’m supposed to get through this. I demanded for the sake of my sanity he quit his job, but he exploded. He thinks we’re doing better than ever. We could get a bigger house soon (we live in 2 bedroom rancher but I like it). That the kids will have so many more opportunities, etc, and he’s not wrong, but what about me?!?!?! AITA?