I told my colleagues, I’m proposing the following new policy:

Your luggage isn’t weighed. Instead, the passengers hopeful are put up in a line. One after another, they get their luggage thrown in the face. Those who survive may board the plane.

Additionally, luggage scales will henceforth only have one reading: “If you need to weight it, it’s too heavy, idiot.”

Also, for adding the weights in both reasonable and imperial, you are the MVP of the day.