I’ve been single for 6 years and intend staying this way. I’ve had shit relationships and I don’t know anybody in a truly happy relationship.
I get to do what I want, when I want and don’t have to think about anybody else.
It isn’t because I’m socially incompetent, even though I’m a natural introvert I’ve had decades of socialising and am pretty damn good at talking to people and being a fake extrovert. I worked Apple retail where you have to be pretty outgoing to survive there and then moved to the Genius Bar where you need to be able to speak with angry customers.
Being single is just more fun for me and I’m not interested in having to care about someone else, for what I see as little benefit. Plus it’s hella expensive.
lath@lemmy.world 1 week ago
This is the general direction of my point.
You have more fun on your own. You’ve only had shit relationships. You’ve mastered faking social interactions. Congratulations! You’re socially inept.
Or in other words, you want it, but couldn’t have it, so you gave up on it and make due with superficial feel-good.
Whatever the reasons we might lie to ourselves with, the inability to form meaningful connections remains. Just don’t mistake giving up on it for the option not existing at all.
dependencyinjection@discuss.tchncs.de 1 week ago
A mountain of conjecture here my friend.
Faking extroversion in work isn’t indicative of my whole life.
I’ve had decades being social with my large group of friends, and I quite enjoy socialising, it’s just as a natural introvert I might need more alone time as it can be tiring.
I never said all my relationships have been shit. Sometimes I’ve been the shit partner. And I haven’t given up, I’ve realised that what makes me happy is my current lifestyle and I don’t have to conform to what society believes is normal.
Perhaps you should take an introspective look at why you would write the previous comment and wonder if there is something in your own life that you’re projecting.
I would never come at someone for their choice of being in a relationship, an open relationship, or whatever unconventional thing they’re into as I respect people’s choices and I assume people are being honest with others as I was in my first comment.
Do you think that everybody single is just waiting for the right person? Do you not believe you can be happy single?
lath@lemmy.world 1 week ago
I absolutely believe we can be happy whether on our own in some form of relationship.
But my approached topic is about our ability to hold unto long-term relationships. If we could, i believe we would choose intimacy with another person over the peacefulness of solitude.
You say it’s tiring to be around other people and that’s fine, but objectively it’s still a personal failing. If you feel attacked, it’s because you also recognize it as such.
You’re happy where you are and it’s great, but isn’t it you’re making your happiness because you wouldn’t find it otherwise?
dependencyinjection@discuss.tchncs.de 1 week ago
No.
I could leave my house right now, go and meet a girl, develop a long term relationship and I wouldn’t be happy. As it is not for everybody.
I get engrossed in my hobbies, and it’s not fair to put other people through that if I’m going to ignore them for a week because I decided I wanted to build a drone and obsess over it.
I don’t understand why you would think like you do. As if everybody on earth wants to be intimate with someone else and anybody that doesn’t is broken in some way.
Don’t confuse me being passionate about this topic as anger. I’m passionate because you’re fundamentally wrong and I don’t want other people seeing this, those who haven’t matured yet, and thinking they have to conform to what people like you believe as it’s simply not true.
I’ve said numerous times I don’t live in solitude. I finished work yesterday at 17:00 and was at my friends house with 6 others until 02:00. I woke up today, took a car for a test drive then went to town to join a protest and was chatting with many people. I’ve just been to my parents for dinner and I’m about to go to another friends with another 4 people. Just because I don’t want to live with someone or have an intimate relationship doesn’t mean I’m a recluse.
Perhaps your situation is different and you’re too socially inept to find someone, but don’t project that on to the rest of us. If you ever come to Manchester I’d love to socialise with you and show you around.