lath@lemmy.world 4 months ago
That’s an attempt to positively spin our growing incapability of creating and maintaining an intimate long-term relationship.
Wanting to be single sounds better than socially incompetent.
lath@lemmy.world 4 months ago
That’s an attempt to positively spin our growing incapability of creating and maintaining an intimate long-term relationship.
Wanting to be single sounds better than socially incompetent.
dependencyinjection@discuss.tchncs.de 4 months ago
I’ve been single for 6 years and intend staying this way. I’ve had shit relationships and I don’t know anybody in a truly happy relationship.
I get to do what I want, when I want and don’t have to think about anybody else.
It isn’t because I’m socially incompetent, even though I’m a natural introvert I’ve had decades of socialising and am pretty damn good at talking to people and being a fake extrovert. I worked Apple retail where you have to be pretty outgoing to survive there and then moved to the Genius Bar where you need to be able to speak with angry customers.
Being single is just more fun for me and I’m not interested in having to care about someone else, for what I see as little benefit. Plus it’s hella expensive.
lath@lemmy.world 4 months ago
This is the general direction of my point.
You have more fun on your own. You’ve only had shit relationships. You’ve mastered faking social interactions. Congratulations! You’re socially inept.
Or in other words, you want it, but couldn’t have it, so you gave up on it and make due with superficial feel-good.
Whatever the reasons we might lie to ourselves with, the inability to form meaningful connections remains. Just don’t mistake giving up on it for the option not existing at all.
dependencyinjection@discuss.tchncs.de 4 months ago
A mountain of conjecture here my friend.
Faking extroversion in work isn’t indicative of my whole life.
I’ve had decades being social with my large group of friends, and I quite enjoy socialising, it’s just as a natural introvert I might need more alone time as it can be tiring.
I never said all my relationships have been shit. Sometimes I’ve been the shit partner. And I haven’t given up, I’ve realised that what makes me happy is my current lifestyle and I don’t have to conform to what society believes is normal.
Perhaps you should take an introspective look at why you would write the previous comment and wonder if there is something in your own life that you’re projecting.
I would never come at someone for their choice of being in a relationship, an open relationship, or whatever unconventional thing they’re into as I respect people’s choices and I assume people are being honest with others as I was in my first comment.
Do you think that everybody single is just waiting for the right person? Do you not believe you can be happy single?
lath@lemmy.world 4 months ago
I absolutely believe we can be happy whether on our own in some form of relationship.
But my approached topic is about our ability to hold unto long-term relationships. If we could, i believe we would choose intimacy with another person over the peacefulness of solitude.
You say it’s tiring to be around other people and that’s fine, but objectively it’s still a personal failing. If you feel attacked, it’s because you also recognize it as such.
You’re happy where you are and it’s great, but isn’t it you’re making your happiness because you wouldn’t find it otherwise?