No, you’re just indoctrinated by bullshit and it’s making you say insane and stupid things.

If you think that monogamy means you get to rape your partner, then you probably shouldn’t be in any relationship under any system ever because clearly consent is something you have a fuzzy concept of. You can stay in incel town where you belong.

Monogamy is a system of relationships where you and another person agree that while you’re in a sexual relationship you won’t have sexual relationships with other people. Under such a system, if you have sexual relationships with other people while already in one relationship it’s called cheating and it’s frowned upon. You can have sexual relationships with other people, but first you need to end the relationship you’re in.

The enforcement of monogamy isn’t forcing people into being in a relationship. It’s the enforcement of monogamy as the general way of having relationships rather than something like polygamy or a sexual free for all. Under monogamy, there’s lots of men and women who aren’t in relationships for a variety of reasons, and there’s nothing at all inherent in monogamy that suggests you must be in a relationship, any more than there being anything inherent in polygamy that suggests you must be in a relationship.

Marriage in the west is a form of enforced monogamy. There is no law saying you can’t cheat on your husband or have a side boyfriend or girlfriend, and in fact a surprising number of marriages practice polyamory or other forms of sexual relationships but society expects that if you choose to marry someone then you’re going to be faithful to the other person. Under the European nuclear family model, there is no one ‘arranged’ to do anything – certainly not by the state. Young men go out and try to meet women, and a woman chooses who she wants to marry, and then they get married. The way that it is enforced is that you’ll face social disapproval if you cheat on your husband or wife. If your friends know that you are married, and they see your husband or wife kissing someone who isn’t you, they’ll come back to you and let you know, and if it gets out that you cheated on your spouse then you could lose social standing including losing friends because they don’t respect what you did.