Comment on Asking a girl out for comic book store date?
jjjalljs@ttrpg.network 7 months agoCounter argument: unclear communication is a road to sorrow and anger. Be clear with your intentions. You may suffer some losses up front, but you won’t waste your time with someone who’s not interested in what you’re interested in.
Also, if someone isn’t excited to go out with you, you can do better.
If the other person thinks it’s just a friendly hang and you abruptly context switch into a sexual/romantic thing, there’s good odds she’ll be mad, and rightfully so. She may read it as you weren’t actually interested in her or the activity, but were being deceitful to try to get in her pants.
Be honest. Be prepared for rejection. Don’t mislead people.
Kinglink@lemmy.world 7 months ago
And you burn bridges pretty quickly.
Listen, I get the modern mentality of “If women don’t want to date you who cares if you scare them away.” but having friends is more important to dating someone so maybe building a social network is better than just rushing to date every girl you meet.
Yeah the key is you don’t treat it as a sexual/romantic thing at first, if you’re both interested, there will be SOME clue or at least get to know her first., rather than trying to date her immediately. This isn’t a speed run competition, you can take some time to get to know people.
There was 8 years where I “tried to be clear”… guess what, I ended up with 1 female friend because most women don’t want someone who tries to date them to hang around with them. And that was long before this whole incel.friendzone shit was popular. If you meet a girl and immediately try to date her, that’s the biggest of red flags.
But go do you, just don’t be surprised that “Being direct” keeps biting you in the ass.
jjjalljs@ttrpg.network 7 months ago
Your reply is not fully applicable because the context here is he already wants to date this woman.
You can and should have friends that aren’t your own gender. This post specifically isn’t about that. The guy wants to date her. Hanging out and pretending otherwise can quickly tip over into something unfortunate. You can find out awkwardly late that they already are seeing someone, they don’t date men, they have incompatible relationship goals, or whatever, and make less good decisions because you’re acting with incomplete information.
Many of my friends have been women. Many of them I didn’t especially want to date or fuck.
I had many years in my youth of awkwardly hanging around women hoping something would align.
Turns out “Do you want to go on a date? There’s a bar by me that has arcade machines” and “do you want to make out?” are a potent combination.