Yeah I absolutely relate to this, but challenging people yo be objective and showing them a new perception that is outside of the norm is not gaslighting. Asking someone to question their behavior is not gaslighting. Especially when you are here applying the same reasoning to yourself.

Gaslighting is intentionally making somebody question their perceivable reality with the intent to manipulate for your own gain. I don’t think this applies to philosophical questions of morality unless you are contradicting and forcing your beliefs on them through some type of moral absolutism. I also don’t think it applies if you convince someone the closed down shop was a hot dog stand and it was actually a Burger stand so long as you were honestly mistaken. If you keep them in the dark intentionally after learning the truth that would probably be though.

It is possible also that your definition of truth is too broad and you need to interject some self doubt, since we’ve all been wrong before, and maybe in that invitation to discuss both possibilities your approach will be refined.

In line with what others here are saying, I have the same thoughts as you and i got diagnosed with ADHD late, the psychiatrist mentioned I fit multiple criteria for ASD but that ADHD correctly captures most symptoms so we go with that. If possible taking assessments and talking to a profrssional should help cut down on these instances where you assume the worst of yourself.