I’ve read the post and guessed the country right. Hello, fellow inmate. Sorry you share this faith.

Coding is a good investment in the future, you can read most sources on it too, so you are set. But that takes a lot of resilence to keep on going. I have many troubles with that, and I’m not well in the head too.

There are many little factories and businesses around that hire with a little to no experience and pay you hard cash. I’d consider that in order to fall from the radar. No medical bonuses but like they are worth it. It would occupy you and bring you a starting budget.

After getting some trust in yourself, you can try asking around other places. Shops are good too and they are constantly hiring. People also work in apps, but I’ve not heard anyone getting it big on them.

Freelance is another way, but you need skills. Writing works for others, doing arts on demand, checking items on e-shops, whatever. These pay peanuts, but generally easy to start if your hands know the tools.

If anything, get some way to distract youself would worth it too. People (the cooler ones), media, charities, hobbies. They are what keeps me going in spite of anxiety.

Also, some psychotherapists seem to work and be open, but you need locals who used them tell which ones since that’s a total hit-and-miss. Investigating VK groups can be a start. Expect it to be a private and paid one though. And more chances in big cities, obviously.

Переживи деда, друг.