You’re inventing something to be upset at here.

Using they as a default pronoun for someone you’re interacting with online is fine. Everyone does it. It becomes an issue when that person tells your their pronouns, and you refuse to then acknowledge those pronouns, make excuses for not knowing them, and imply that someone is getting upset over nothing for making an issue of it.

In this case, a Hexbear user clearly baited your admin. But that means he shouldn’t have responded at all, or if he did, it could have been as simple as “noted” to say that he acknowledges the persons pronouns.

The issue here for me isn’t “guess my pronouns or you’re a transphobe”, it’s the disregard for those pronouns once they were clarified.

You can disagree with that if you like, but at least now you won’t be disagreeing with something no one said