Comment on Gen Z Is Leaving Dating Apps Behind
Boozilla@lemmy.world 11 months ago
Smart move, Gen Z. Those apps are all scams designed to maximize engagement and extract your money from you. They give you a bad mix of early false hope and eventual despair.
Love, Gen X.
Just an anecdote, but I never paid for anything, and most of my exes were from tinder, as well as my current partner. Some were from jodel or instagram, but I’ve had the best luck by far with the dating apps.
I don’t really feel scammed, though they did probably extract a goodly amount of my personal data. But monetarily it was free, and I had a bunch of nice encounters as well as some really good relationships.
But I am a millennial, nearing 30s, so maybe it’s a generational gap
Have you used any recently? It could be that we’re both right, as software just keeps getting worse for over the past few years.
Late summer I remade an account after getting over a relationship that previously ended, and found my current partner (though I did have to go through a few not so great dates to finally really click with someone, but that’s also true for what we used to go through back in the day, and probably for anything that has humans involved).
But I agree that the experience in the app itself was significantly worse, with the constant adverts and pop-ups and whatnot. I just endured them to connect with people, but definitely worse experience as an app than the last time I used it some years ago. But humans are humans in and out of the app, doesn’t really matter what the app is, as long as one can connect and move to other apps from there
I met my wife through PoF, but this is exactly how Id describe dating apps. They are so designed to keep you checking the app constantly, pay for premium features and feel awful about yourself. In my situation it really was the only way I could meet anyone (was in my rotations of grad school, working 12 hour days), but the apps were like measurably depressing me
Glad it worked out for you guys in the end. There has to be a better way. I usually tell folks to get involved with mixed groups that are activity-based. There’s all kinds of volunteer groups, athletics clubs, and hobby groups out there. Go where the people are, the group activity is a great ice breaker, and then hope to find someone in the group (or network with it to find someone). It’s much better than praying to the app gods through the phone, IMO.
The biggest thing to ne is it can be misguided to join those types of groups when your in a position to be looking for a partner. In general, its great to be involved in activity/hobby groups, and if you find your partner there thats wonderful. But if you are joining just to find a partner, thats where things can get really disappointing and youre not exactly there for the right reason. At the time I was involved in more than enough hobby and activity groups, and didnt need to join more only for to be ‘just there to meet women’. That is the element (in theory) thats good about dating apps. Im there to meet potential partners. Im not pretending to be interested in pottery just to meet a cute girl. Im on the app with a goal of meeting a partner, and want to talk to people who also want to meet a partner. Obviously people and app devs use dating apps for other purposes. But when you are busy with work, school, and have enough hobbies and activities, having something thats very straightforward about wanting to find a partner was a lot more direct way to find someone.
I understand what you’re saying, and I agree. However, most people should be able to find at least one group activity where they are truly interested in the activity; be it volunteering, sports, or hobbies. If not, they may have deeper problems than being single that need to be addressed first. Communal activities and socializing are at the very core of human nature.
ultra@feddit.ro 11 months ago
Hi, Gen X. Some of us can tell that basically every app nowadays is like that, but sadly, there are still others who don’t. But we’re trying to stay clear of these scams and people like tate and musk.
Love, Gen Z
PlexSheep@feddit.de 11 months ago
I confirm this, also Z person.