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Comment on How to deal with annoying co-worker

So… do you trust your HR department and/or boss?

You might be able to get some headway with “I’m sorry, but I’ve got [this project] and I need to get it done, I need to focus”

if that doesn’t work you can either tolerate it, or complain to your boss. something like “I’ve asked him to stop making fart noises, for example, or won’t stop trying to talk to me and I have work to do.”

at least he’s not like, a total asshole. but in some regards, it makes it harder to deal with. so I’d suggest consider getting somebody else to deal with it.

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AyuTsukasa@lemm.ee ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago
So unfortunately I am his boss we do have a supervisor over us I could talk to though.

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- doeknius_gloek@feddit.de ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago
  If you’re the team lead, something like this is your job. You could ask your supervisor for guidance, but ultimately you should be able to solve this on your own.
  
  As others have mentioned: Speak to him. Don’t be nice nor mean - be professional. Tell him how his behaviour affects you and the rest of the team. Talk to him about appropriate workplace behaviour and what you want him to change.
  
  Maybe this will work, maybe it doesn’t. How he handles your feedback is up to him, he is an adult, even if he doesn’t act like one.
  
  If he doesn’t change or keeps ignoring you (his boss!), document his behaviour and go the HR route.
  
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- FuglyDuck@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago
  chat to the super for advice, assuming he’s a reasonable sort. Don’t sell the employee out, just… you know?
  
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Pons_Aelius@kbin.social ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago
While I agree with what you you are suggesting part of me thinks that if that will work, someone in the office would have done it already.

For op's sake, I hope I am wrong.

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- FuglyDuck@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago
  That’s the trouble. Frequently this kind of merely annoying behavior is allowed to continue because nobody says anything because he’s not a bad guy. HR/the boss may not even realize it’s impacting work. You’d be shocked what people have gotten away with because ‘they’re nice people’.
  
  part of their job is to smooth out these issues- there’s no reason to be aggressive about it, but if it’s impacting work, part of their job is managing it.
  
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  - Pons_Aelius@kbin.social ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago
    I agree that can be the case.
    
    I have also seen cases (I spent years as a contractor working in many different places) where management knows about it but refuses to actually do anything about it due to laziness/nepotism.
    
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- AyuTsukasa@lemm.ee ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago
  I mean, yeah, people have but and he’ll stop talking to them specifically and start mentioning how he doesn’t like them whenever they come around or come up in conversation. But he never looks inward and wonders if he is annoying because there’s enough people that tolerate him.
  
  It’s like a loop you be nice and ignore him he thinks he’s cool.
  
  You be mean and tell him he’s annoying he paints you as the asshole.
  
  You be nice and tell him he’s annoying he throws a pity party and makes you feel guilty for saying anything.
  
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  - Tabero@lemmy.world ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago
    Are others complaining to you about his behavior? Because you’re his boss, I wonder if this could function like any other improvement conversation.
    
    What if, instead of calling him “annoying,” you pulled him aside separately at another time and phrased the convo as wanting him to focus on “professionalism” and/or “work appropriate behavior”? If you are clear about what that means and bring examples to the table, that might help.
    
    You could cover his passive aggressive responses in the conversation as well–pointing and writing notes and pity-partying are not appropriate ways to communicate in your workplace.
    
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    AyuTsukasa@lemm.ee ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago
    Yeah I’ll probably go that route. I’ve never called him annoying.
    
    the worst I’ve done is tell him he’s not helping when he made me lose my count on something.
    
    I was counting a part when he came to talk to me about something completely unrelated. I didn’t respond, and when he asked what’s wrong I told him I’m just trying to keep my count. He then he continues to talk about his thing and I lose my count. So I do an exasperated sigh tell him I just lost my count can he come back later. He then started counting the wrong parts out loud so I stop him and say that’s not helping. Then he puts on his kicked puppy face said he was just trying to help and went non verbal for an hour after that.
    
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  - cabbagee@sopuli.xyz ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago
    Don’t tell him he’s annoying. Call him out when something’s not appropriate for the workplace (like the fart jokes) but don’t make it about his personality.
    
    Consult HR on how to go about the quirks that aren’t inappropriate but still very annoying. They can give you the language toolbox you need.
    
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