they’re going to be asking themselves if they’re going to be asking themselves if they could have done something differently

Parents used to read a quick story out of Guideposts every morning at breakfast. Think of it as a nondenominational, “I believe in god” sort of publication. Extraordinarily useful stories, didn’t require much, if any, religion.

One story about a pilot stuck with me then, and has for 40-years. Pilot’s telling his buddy how he’s responsible for everything on his aircraft.

“Yeah, but what if the ground crew gives you bad fuel.”

“I should have checked that.”

“Fine. But what if an engine fails?”

“That’s on me. I should have checked maintenance records.”

“FINE. What if terrorists hijack the plane?” (This was the 80’s when such events were hilariously common.)

“All me. The safety of my plane, my crew and my passengers is my responsibility alone.”

I’m doing an awful job retelling the story, but you get the gist. No matter what his friend threw at him, the answer was, “I could have done $X.”

Imagine the world we could live in if everyone thought, “I could have done something differently”. I’d be hard pressed to describe a bad spot in my life where I could not have made a different decision.

Related:

President at my last job came to my office and said, “Look. You’re going to fuck up at some point. All I ask is that you don’t lie, deflect responsibility or try to hide it. Just come to me, tell me about it and we’ll figure out how to fix it and make it not happen again.” Good as his word.

One time our biggest client’s managers figured a way to see each other’s salary in the new system. My fault? Meh, I could have blamed the software, it really was their oversight. OTOH, I could have found the bug myself with a little more diligence.

Pulled him out of a meeting, shaking in my boots, explained the issue. He just chuckled and said, “Don’t worry about it. Let’s go look.”

That’s the kind of attitude that makes you a trusted leader, on both our parts.