Holy hell!! That is something straight out of the Chevy Chase vacation movie!
thirdBreakfast@lemmy.world 11 hours ago
Coming soon to self-driving cars: Grandad comes to visit from Kansas, but he’s been dead for five hours.
IWW4@lemmy.zip 10 hours ago
some_kind_of_guy@lemmy.world 1 hour ago
👋 Hi there! This is Waygo transporter #69420, with an important message.
There was a slight oopsie with Pip-Pop on the way to <your location>. Please review the following transcript log, created by my tamper-proof auditing system (powered by Windows 15). legal subsystem at our headquarters. To obtain the original file
5:46:37 - ⚠️ the onboard Waygo Intelligence®️ Agent has detected a sudden adverse health event affecting passenger #A-7713. This matter was urgently escalated with priority to the Higher Intelligence Executive Oracle Cluster (codename Steve). Steve’s analysis considered proximity to medical facilities covered by #A-7713’s insurance plan, in combination with his worsening condition and determined that a euthanization was the best, most humane course of action for all parties. ordered me to initiate procedure 6-7 to euthanize my occupant.
live_feed_of_poor_old_pip-pop_slumped_over_in back seat.mp4
Unfortunately, due to local regulations, we are unable to complete this trip as planned 💔. We apologize for the inconvenience.
Our systems have classified this event as ‘not suspicious’. No further adverse harms are expected. This is great news! 😎
We understand how difficult it is to lose someone 🫂. Their suffering did not last longer than necessary, and they were very lucky to have spent their final moments inside a Life Systems-equipped Waygo.
$rider.details.name.given.use_this_one.’may have passed today, but Waygo will always be there™️.Your user roles on Pip-pop’s Waygo account are ‘emergency contact’ and ‘backup payment method’, making you the highest-ranking user on their account!
You’ll inherit Pip-pop’s $waycoin and Waygo reputation points™️. The honor of deciding what happens next is all yours* 🎉
Please make your selection below:
✨Select one of our Premium End of the Road™️ packages, and we’ll include a 5% discount, and waive all applicable transaction fees AND cargo surcharges! ❤️🩹 ~offer valid for the next 30 minutes~
<u>Click here</u> to deliver Pip-pop to the nearest Waygo-partnered funeral home for fully-automated cross-reality death services. This is an exclusive offering from our sister company Last Stop™️. Features include:
-A reserved 10cm*10cm plot at The Mound, the world’s last-remaining IRL burial site. Your loved one’s Remains Cube (patent pending) will be gently placed inside its resting place with precision. (1 month of subscription credits included FREE!) -Customize every detail of your loved one’s premium virtual casket and headstone on CryptoKeepr - the world’s first blockchain mausoleum, sponsored by Brave browser -Apply traditional religious flavor to funeral proceedings. Select a generic preset, mix and match elements from both approved religions, or let AI take the wheel and tailor religious aspects to suit your audience’s individual preferences -Allow unlimited attendees to experience the proceedings streamed directly in rich full-spectrum VR with DLSS 5, full-body haptics and custom smell-scapes -Upgrade your membership to unlock Golden Urn status and Elite perks. Among other benefits, we’ll generate a unique Custom Cleric®️ to lead the proceedings and preside eternally
Low on $waycoin? Allow our generous sponsors to do what they do best - monetize - and up to half of over a significant part of up to a fraction of some of the total costs will be covered!
<u>Click here to donate human remains to Waygo Research**</u> 🆓
<u>Need more time? Activate