Good luck manā¦ Iāve been through a couple of these variants but with my (current) SO of quite some time I feel like Iāve found the center. That doesnāt mean itās never complicated, but it means weāve learned to deal with and work through a lot of complicated stuff. I honestly believe the most important ingredient in getting to that center is the will to see the best in each other and work through whatever life throws your way.
Comment on love venn diagramsš«¶
backalleycoyote@lemmy.today āØ20ā© āØhoursā© ago
One can find someone who is their friend, is someone they love, and with whom they have a great sexual relationship but still get zoned into āitās complicatedā. If reality wasnāt so messy, and we didnāt have such fucked up childhoods, my ride or die and I would be a perfect couple. Instead weāre sometimes fuck buddies, sometimes lovers, sometimes friends, sometimes play relationship. Itās complicated.
thebestaquaman@lemmy.world āØ19ā© āØhoursā© ago
backalleycoyote@lemmy.today āØ18ā© āØhoursā© ago
Thanks. If anything, this friendship/relationship has taught me why people with similar trauma and personalities can be great for emotional intimacy (we get it) but also absolutely toxic when our trauma forged defenses and coping mechanisms rise up. Sheās given me a lot of insight into āoh, so thatās what itās like to deal with me when I act like thatā. Love her to death but weāre not the match.
moonshadow@slrpnk.net āØ18ā© āØhoursā© ago
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boonhet@sopuli.xyz āØ6ā© āØhoursā© ago
I hit all 3 but then she said that sheās still broken because of her past trauma and needs to work on herself first. Which to be fair is great that she realizes it, but the issue is now we barely talk anymore because itās honestly hard for both of us. So now I feel like all 3 have been lost instead of having just the 1, friendship.