Who has time in this day & age for all of their civic duties, amirite?

Join your smarter neighbors today! Farm out that friendly 24/7 vigilance to a dutiful/, well-trained/, totally incorruptible/, perfectly safe/, 100% benign algorithm that simply stores all data to keep everyone safe!

Join us, citizen.

While you still have the choice to. 😶‍🌫️

🎶🎵

*Yes, it’s Friendly Neighborhood "Doorbell"™! The high-tech "community safety"™ sensation that’s sweeping the “nation”! Only $249.95 at participating stores! Get yours today!

Warning: Pregnant women, the elderly, children under 10, and unwitting enemies of The State should avoid prolonged exposure to Friendly Neighborhood "Doorbell"™.

Caution: Friendly Neighborhood "Doorbell"™ may suddenly accelerate to dangerous speeds.

Friendly Neighborhood "Doorbell"™ contains "AI"™, which, if exposed due to rupture, should not be touched, engaged with, or looked at.

Do not use Friendly Neighborhood "Doorbell"™ on new or old construction.

Discontinue use of Friendly Neighborhood "Doorbell"™ if any of the following occurs:

• itching

• vertigo

• dizziness

• tingling in extremities

• loss of balance coordination

• slurred speech temporary blindness

• profuse sweating or heart palpitations

• inability to comply

If Friendly Neighborhood "Doorbell"™ begins to smoke, get away immediately. Seek shelter and cover head.

Friendly Neighborhood "Doorbell"™ may stick to certain colors of skin.

When not in use, Friendly Neighborhood "Doorbell"™ should be ignored entirely and kept completely free of particulate matter. Failure to do so relieves the makers of Friendly Neighborhood "Doorbell"™, MAGAt GrIFTS, LLC, and its parent company, Glottal Plugs Unlimited, of any and all liability.

Ingredients of Friendly Neighborhood "Doorbell"™ include an untested morass pf profit-squanched code which fell to Earth in multiple steaming piles across the techbroverse, presumably from adult diapers.

Friendly Neighborhood "Doorbell"™ has been shipped to our troops in numerous “at-risk” “nations” and is being dropped by our warplanes on others.

Do not taunt Friendly Neighborhood "Doorbell"™.

Friendly Neighborhood "Doorbell"™ comes with a lifetime warranty. Yours.

Friendly Neighborhood "Doorbell"™! Accept no substitutes!*