Sounds like you get a lot of help to do lots of things instead of being taught how to do it yourself. Naturally, you’re going to feel like “I get things done for me, that must mean I’m inadequate to do them by myself”, and this feeling causes you to be able to do less, feeling more inadequate, thus increasing the things done for you, thus making you feel more inadequate…

Basically it sounds to me like you’re perfectly able to do it “by yourself” if you actually had to. It’s “just” the fear holding you back.

That was kind of a semi related thing. About the orientation towards your parents: if your parents are loving, and you’re autistic in some sense, then it is very likely you have little, if any, friends and definitely don’t feel loved by anyone else. Rather you feel “different”, not fitting in, like people don’t want to build deep relationships with you. Where else are you going to get that feeling from then, apart from your parents? Of course you’re going to gravitate towards them.