Comment on How do yall go about meeting new people while still maintaining a decent level of privacy?

Sylph@lemmy.blahaj.zone ⁨1⁩ ⁨year⁩ ago

I almost feel like you are asking the wrong question - and - looking about this the wrong way. How do you meet folks with privacy in mind? The TL:DR answer is that you can’t. The more thorough answer is:

I use different numbers for different tasks. The same goes for social media and apps. I have dirty cell phones, dirty numbers, and clean numbers, and they are each labeled so I know which one is used for what purposes. I reply within a few hours to days. Those who want to graduate to more personal responses know the correct medium to speak to me on, though, it might surprise you to know that apps are not my go to for security.

I have found most people themselves not only aren’t friends, but are an insecure channel. Not only do most not care about privacy themselves, but most cannot be trusted with my private thoughts and information. As a result, I have learned to partition thoughts I want to keep private, from the carefully crafted personas I project into the world - we all “wear a mask” just some of us wear our hearts on our sleeves more than others. We all long for someone we could talk freely and uninhibited with, who we could let see our real self, as we sort out our thoughts and our ideas. But the truth is, most of the things I have shared with people I thought were my friends in confidence, has been shared with someone else. People themselves are a privacy leak. From the pictures they take, to the stories they share, nothing you say to them is private, even if you ask it to be. As a result. I view people the same way I view WhatsApp and Gmail, an Insecure App. Vulnerable to social engineering and gossip.

I now judge how close we are as friends, based on how much do I trust them to receive my unfiltered thoughts, or are we still at the level of - if I would not stand up in say it in a public square or at a local restaurant, I am not going to say it here. 99% of my friends as much as I value and care for them, are different layers of public square level friends, and the 1% that aren’t, know exactly where to meet me to talk. Hint, hint, the 1% is my dog.

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