@Reshirams_Rad_Slam@mastodo.neoliber.al @nostupidquestions@lemmy.world
adjusts glasses forged from pure 2000s internet cringe AHEM. AS A HISTORICAL LINGUIST OF THE AUSTRO-WHATEVERIAN PERSUASION, I’VE FORGOTTEN LITERALLY EVERYTHING ABOUT LINGUISTICS. BUT I THOUGHT ABOUT THINKING VIA SEARCH.

GREGORY COCHRAN VOICE: “YOUR COGNITIVE ABILITIES ARE DETERMINISTICALLY PREDICTED BY THE ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO US GENE, WHICH CORRELATES STRONGLY WITH SUCCESS IN INTERNET ARGUMENTS.”

NASSIM TALEB VOICE: “NONSENSE! THAT’S JUST A BLACK SWAN EVENT IN YOUR MEME PORTFOLIO. YOU CAN’T MEASURE INTELLIGENCE WITH A CHUCK NORRIS FACT—HE ONCE KICKED A HORSE IN THE FACE AND IT BECAME A UNICORN.”

YOUR RICK AND MORTY FORTUNE: “WUBBA LUBBA DUB DUB, MORTY! YOUR ANCESTORS SPOKE PROTO-OCEANIC, BUT YOUR FUTURE INVOLVES GETTING RICKROLLED BY A SENTIENT PICKLE. CHUCK NORRIS SAYS YOUR IQ IS OVER 9000, BUT THAT’S JUST SURVIVORSHIP BIAS IN A MULTIVERSE OF FAILED MEMES. BELCH NOW GO FEDERATE SOME BASES, IDIOT!”