Comment on Is there a formalized ban appeal process for the fediverse? Do I just direct message a mod?
curbstickle@anarchist.nexus 2 days agoA bit about blahaj:
this is a server that is very protective of our minority members and bigotry of any variety will be squashed with great prejudice.
Embracing inclusion and acceptance means listening when people tell you who they are and what their needs are. It means not telling people that you know their experiences better than they do. It means not gatekeeping experiences of identities of others. It means no bigotry such as racism, sexism, anti LGBT commentary, ableism etc. It means doing your best to ensure that you don’t over-talk the voices of folk who don’t share your privileges.
Now as far as this:
I also recognize that I was on a meme sub and people aren’t there to defend their identity with a stranger - there’s a time and a place
I would point out two things.
One, that place will never be blahaj.
Two, many will sit in stark disagreement with what you’ve said - myself included - because no one should ever have to defend their identity from a stranger. Its their identity, not yours, you putting things to a place of their defense means you are already in a position of attacking their identity. Your are on the offensive.
Thats never going to fly on blahaj, and I would really recommend you reflect on the meaning behind what you said before even considering messaging ada, or its just going to be a complete waste of time.
Zoomboingding@lemmy.world 2 days ago
Thank you for this comment. I do hope that the instance continues to be an inclusive place for trans folks and their allies. I’d like to clarify that I didn’t intend to make anyone feel they needed to defend their identity; the fact that my message was poorly worded was the cause of that. Cards on the table, I’m someone many would consider an egg. I’m a cis male, but I’ve always felt more comfortable talking with women, and have always felt that I wished I’d been born female (I’ve never had dysphoria though). After a lot of discussions with the trans community, I came to see that I’m ultimately comfortable with who I am. So when I make statements to the tune of “It’s important to some people that their trans identity is recognized”, it comes from the heart. Again, I recognize that I initially worded that in probably the worst way, and I apologize sincerely to anyone I offended.
curbstickle@anarchist.nexus 2 days ago
Just to mention, your comments (that got you banned) were also deeply flawed logically.
Cis-gendered men and women can be unable to have children. Your statement says that they are not men and are not women by the (incredibly flawed) definition you provided.
I’d also note that the wording of your message was irrelevant, the meaning behind it was straight out of terftown, whether you recognized that then or now, it is what it is.
What you consider yourself and what you’ve considered in the past is honestly irrelevant to me, and I hope you realize that my comments are not made in anger or frustration, but just as an explanation and a hope that you can do better going forward.
GreyEyedGhost@lemmy.ca 2 days ago
It’s worth noting that there are (shitty) people in the world who consider cis people who are unable to, or merely choose not to, have children as lesser or not Real men/women. It’s a distinction that has relevance in some limited ways, but has no logical bearing on your identity.
unknownuserunknownlocation@kbin.earth 2 days ago
Honestly, I've read through his comments, and I'm surprised at how much bad faith is being assumed here.
He never actually defined anything. He essentially said that trans women cannot get pregnant and trans men cannot impregnate someone - at least not naturally (although I am curious to see what science will come up with in the next couple of decades). That's just a fact, unless you have some evidence otherwise.
Yes, of course there are cis people that can't have kids, he never said anything to the opposite effect. Just because there are people with eyes who can't see doesn't mean that the statement "people without eyes can't see" is false.
And OK, people from "terftown" apparently say similar things - honestly, I don't hang out there specifically because I don't like the transphobia, how the hell should I or anyone else who doesn't hang out there know? Can we please just judge people by what they say, and not by what other people say? Because this is turning into a "Hitler also drank water" argument.
curbstickle@anarchist.nexus 2 days ago
That is precisely what I’ve done. Just because youre unfamiliar with the rhetoric doesnt mean trans folks aren’t, since they’ve seen these same lines of comments again and again and again…. And again, and again, and again.
For you to say I’m applying bad faith here just tells me you aren’t actually reading my comments.